Love Me Back // Elmax Fanfiction

Chapter 6 ~ Bleeding Out

TW: MENTION OF PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE, PANIC ATTACK

Max
I jolted awake. El was leaning over me, her eyes painted with concern. I was sweating and tears were rolling down my face.
I must have had one of my nightmares.
They were always about either Billy or Neil.
Neil would find out that I liked Eleven and he would beat me, or he would beat me for no reason at all. He would always scream at me. Taking me by my hair, he would push me up against the wall and threaten me. He'd warn me of all the things he could do to me. Everything. "Do you understand?" He'd say, quietly at first. I was so stupid. I always nodded in reply, and then he'd yell and yell until I was screaming and sobbing.
When they were about Billy, I would see him die. All over again. El would stand there in horror as an arm-like tube with huge, sharp teeth jutted out from the Mind Flayer's body and bit onto Billy. Then, one by one, more and more tubes would latch onto Billy, and he'd collapse. His bloody corpse would lay there, and I'd run to it, sobbing. Then I'd wake up.
"Max, are you alright?" El asked, afraid. Crazily, I managed to nod. I could tell that she knew I was lying. She scooped me up and pulled me into yet another hug.
I'd never had a nightmare while I was sleeping over with El, so I was sure she was extremely confused. She'd had them before; hers were always about the lab, though. I hated the people who'd done those things to her. The thought of it always made anger swell up in my chest so greatly that it was painful, but right now all I could feel was Neil pressing me against the wall.
Eleven held to me tight, rocking me. All I wanted to do was run. I squirmed, wanting her to let me free, but she only held tighter. "Eleven, let me go... I have to go..." I started, beginning to shake violently. My breath felt tight and I was hyperventilating. "El... I said let me go!" I just about screamed. She barely flinched. She pet my hair, still holding me.
"I've got you, Maxie... you're safe... shhh, I got you," Eleven whispered. I could tell by her voice that she was crying. "Just breath." My teeth chattered nervously and I was still shaking, but I let her hold me. I only squirmed a few more times, before I realized she wasn't going to let me go.
About 10 minutes later, El had calmed me down enough, and I was feeling better. I was still shaking. Eleven continued to comfort me, holding me as if I were a small child, and speaking to me. Tears streamed down my face.
I hated those stupid dreams.
My mother always stood there, watching. She never decided to stop Neil or help me, she just stood there, looking sad. More tears rolled down my cheeks.
God, we have done a lot of crying today.
I realized that the sun was probably about to rise. Poor Eleven, I thought, she didn't get any sleep because of my childish fits and stupid dreams.
"I'm sorry, El," I apologized. I felt really awful.
"For what?" She asked, sounding confused.
"For waking you up and having my stupid crying things and being such a jerk and-"
"Oh, Maxie, it's ok. We're friends." Thanks for reminding me. For some silly reason, I still smiled. She was so sweet. How could she even be so perfect?

Later that Morning
I sat at the window. Eleven was turned around behind me, changing back into her jeans and t-shirt. I wanted to see the sun rise. The sky was a dim yellow, but the sun would come up at any second.
I could feel Eleven looking at me. Was she just standing there, looking at me? I turned around to see. She was! I turned right back, only getting a look at her for a second, but she really had been just standing there. El was just standing there, looking at me, and smiling. That was odd, but I decided to think nothing of it. Part of me was afraid that if I did, I would just dig myself farther into the hole of love.
I continued to stare out the window. I hear El's light footsteps walk up to the bed. She sits down behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. Chills jolt down my spine. God, why does she like to touch me so much? She lays her head down on my shoulder. More chills.
Dumbly, I held her hands in mine. When I did, I realized that they were freezing. "El, your hands are so cold!" I looked down at her arms around my waist, and saw she had goosebumps. I felt my hand slowly and gently up her arm, feeling the goosebumps on her cold skin. She shivered behind me— but not because she was cold. It was like the shivers you got from chills. Why was she getting chills? All I did was touch her arm. I stood up, sad that she was no longer holding onto me, and walked to my closet to get her a sweatshirt. I took one out and pulled it over her head. She put her arms into the sleeves. God, she is adorable, I thought.
I sat back down on the bed, and felt her arms go back around my waist. I smiled as bright orange, yellow, and pink rays of sunlight shot into the sky. I felt El snuggle closer to me, her body being pretty much on top of me. Too close, I thought, not wanting my feelings for her to go any further, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't bring myself to. I focused my attention back to the sunrise. The sun was peeking out behind a few distant hills, now. I felt Eleven snuggle closer to me and smile into my shoulder. "Pretty," she breathed.
I couldn't help but wonder if she was talking about the sunrise or me.
Out of nowhere, my eyes began to sting, and before I could stop it, there were more tears. I was holding Eleven's hands, so I couldn't wipe them.
We watched the sunrise till it had risen quite a bit. I really wanted to turn and ever so gently peck El on the lips.
Eleven stood, and I assumed she wanted me to do the same. So, with one final look at the sun, I stood and turned to look at El. She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
"Can we go downstairs and make eggos?" Eleven asked me. I smiled to myself. She was obsessed with eggos.
"Sure, El," I said. We walked out of my room, her trailing behind me, and down to the kitchen. She sat down at the table, her eyes tired, while I plopped some eggos into the toaster. I went to the table and sat across from her. Jesus Christ, she's beautiful. Her eyes shone so brightly in the morning light. I looked admiringly into them, until I heard the toaster pop up. I stood up and put the eggos onto plates. I grabbed syrup and silverware and brought it all to the table. I sat down, trying to focus on my breakfast and not the beautiful girl sitting across from me.
"Thanks, Maxie," El said quietly. How was everything about her so adorable? I only nodded in response, biting into my waffle. I really wanted to ask her to stop touching me so much, and to stop calling me Maxie, and to stop caring about me, and to stop being so adorable.
Mostly, though, I just wanted her to like me back.
As we sat there in silence, I couldn't help but think that every time Eleven was kind to me, every time she touched me, every time she comforted me, she was cutting me. It was as if she were taking a knife from her back pocket and putting a nice, bloody mark on my one of my arms.
I assumed that my arms were full of them.
How long until I bleed out?
When we were finished, Eleven took her plate up, and grabbed mine as well. "That's ok, El, I can do it," I offered.
"No, no, you made the food, so I'll clean it up," she argued. I let her win.
"Thank you, El," I said, smiling. I got up and put the syrup away. Since we were not messy eaters, like the boys, I didn't have to wipe the table. Score.
Eleven, after cleaning up, said that she should get going. I was almost glad.
Almost.

Thanks for reading and stuff! You're epic!

Word Count: I482

~eight