chapter 5

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I wasn't going to let them have things easy. If they think I did it and they think I am lying about everything, well than that's how I am going to play. They can think their thoughts, but deep down I knew the truth; I saw my brother die in my arms. I'm not going to cry anymore. I am tough like Jesse. I am going to have that cold hard look like mother had. Everything I'm not, I am going to be. My mother scarred me for life. My eyes wanted to cry, but I forced them back. Jesse wouldn't cry; he would be sitting here, like me, with a sly smile on his face. That's how I am going to be. Like Jesse; tough and strong but also a part of my mother with her ice cold heart. If they want to think I did it well then that is the story I will tell.

I gave a Liz a cold sly smile.

I will be like the one who I always looked up to. Jesse Kyle Thompson.

"Jaydee" she began.

I said something before she could finish.

"You think I killed him too now don't you?"

Liz shook her head. "I have being doing this for a very long time; I have talked to thousands of kids, just like you. I have learned how to tell if they are innocent or guilty, and I know for a fact you didn't do it"

I laughed. "What if I am different from those other kids?

"Your not"

"I am" I augured.

"Look Jaydee, you can go ahead and lie on that trail and than spend the rest of you life behind bars, for a murder you didn't do. The choice is yours Jaydee"

Liz did have a point there, even though I hate to admit it. But I wasn't going to be that easy. Just because I wasn't planning on being easy, that didn't mean I was going to jail.

The truth was pointless to everyone now; they didn't believe me now why would they believe me later on? Everything pointed to me. But that was probably my mother's plan from the beginning. Well I have no way of knowing now. So I can only guess.

"I don't care" I told Liz in hard tone.

She smiled. "You care, don't lie"

I shook my head and smiled, she was not going to make me cave. My mind had been set.

This was only the beginning.

The next morning, I was put into a court room. I had only ever seen court rooms on Tv. I felt so small in her, like a ant as the judge looked down at me. Liz was beside me, along with another woman by the name of Jane Adams, she was the lawyer. I was told not to talk unless spoken too. I was to scared to even talk if I wanted to. They fought about the facts and what I said had happened. With no one around to see what really happened it was hard for them to prove it was not me. A woman from my street was questioned. I knew her as Miss. Carlson. She was a woman in her late thirties, she lived across the street from our house.

"Can you tell us if you witnessed any abuse in the home?"

"I can tell you that, Yes I would say there was abuse, but I keep to myself mostly and try to pry in other peoples life's"

"Have you or any one ever called the cops to the home?"

She pressed her lips together, "Only once, but nothing happened"

I remember that night, Jesse and my mother fought hard, by the end of it both of them were bruised and bloody. The cops showed up due to a noise complaint and I was the one who opened the door. I told the cops that it was only me home. They did not come in, Jesse hid upstairs and my mother had flee somewhere. The cops nodded and asked if I was hiding anything. When I answered no they left. I did wish that they had forced themselves in and found my brother beaten but they didn't and I was to scared to tell them that everything was not alright. Once they left, I got a bag of peas from the freezer and returned upstairs to help Jesse. I don't even remember what the fight was about anymore, It seemed so long ago. There had been so many fights since then, some ended just as bad.

I wonder what would have been the outcome if we had told? Told someone, anyone that our mother was cruel to us, But we never told and kept it to ourselves. Not even Jesse's girlfriend knew the truth, Jesse always lied to her, saying he had gotten in a fight or that he had fallen, there was always something he would tell her but it was never the truth. She might have known though but she didn't want to press him about it. She should have done something, Anna, should have gone to the cops for us. But I guess without something to go on, she couldn't. We should have done something a different, should have left when we had the chance, or reported it. But we kept it a secret, and now I was paying for it.

I was sentenced to prison, life, until proven that I am innocent.
I held my tears back, I didn't want to seem weak. I was anxious as they put the cuffs back on me, and put me into a van. This was it my whole life was over. I did not know how to do anything alone, I had been so dependent on Jesse my whole life, Now it was me against the world and a prison filled with woman.
I watched the trees pass by me, we were going far out of the city, away from anything. I thought about the last book I had read, It came with a memory of Jesse; When Jesse would work at a cafe in town, I would slowly sip a hot chocolate and read a book. Jesse would smile at me as he passed by me. It was heaven on earth. Now I am going to hell on earth... I sighed and leaned my head on the window, trying to be strong.

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