#selfie ✌ stylinson [DISCONTINUED]

#thirteen

#thirteen

"I believe I could fly, I believe I can—"

"Run your head into a wall and die,"

"You see, Zayn," Niall stops, his arms that were once above his head now pointing at the lad sitting on the sofa and scrolling on his phone. "This is why you can't have nice things in life,"

Zayn scoffs, "So you aren't a nice thing then?"

Niall laughs,"What are you talking about? Niall James Horan is not nice—he's motherfucking  fabulous!"

I cough loudly, edging towards the end of my chair and crossing my right leg over my left, "I would like to object my honour but Louis William Tomlinson is more fabulous than Niall James Horan," I look down at my hands, slowly blowing off my nails as if I just painted them when really—I can't paint nails for shït.

I watch as Zayn's mouth slowly opens then closes, his eyebrows furrowing as he turns his phone over and sighs.

"You know," he starts. "I didn't know talking in third person was now considered a fabulous thing, but you know, heyy—" he then gets his water bottle on the lamp desk."that's really, none of my business." And then he sips it like a smooth fücker.

Niall gasps, grabbing a Toy Story cap off the table and tossing it at Zayn who's laughing hysterically, all teeth showing and cheeks nearly flushed.

I sigh deeply, watching the events before me unfold but I don't get to deep because heavy footsteps are heard and then there's Liam instantly standing by the end of the staircase.

"Who threw it?" He whispers, eyes narrowing and Zayn throws him a confused look.

Zayn laughs, "What's up with you, home-slice?"

I cringe, showing my head slowly. Zayn Malik can make any word sound sexy but God no, definitely not "home-slice".

"Who threw Woody?"

"Uh, Liam? You okay?" I start, slowly standing up  and looking him in the eye. He nods, moving his eyes towards Niall and Zayn.

"Yeah, 'home slice' answer the question."

Okay, Liam can pull off the term. Check mark for Wolverhampton.

I turn around and looking at  a guilty Niall, "Look, mate, you don't wanna mess with Liam especially with his second Woody,"

"Uh, what's his first woody then?" Zayn questions jokingly, admiring how Liam is slowly getting fed up with the situation.

"The 11in is now— instead of investing on that wood, who threw the goddamn Woody cap?!"

Not even surprised that he just admitted his dic.k size. Wish Harry could do that but funny thing is, I already know. Oops.

"Fine! I did it! Jesus, what's so special about the god-" Niall admits, waving his arms in the air [wave your hands in the air, wave them like you just don't care]. Cough, my bad.

"It's a Toy Story character hat! What do you expect it to be, a 5SOS hat that'd you throw around at idiots?" Liam argues back, waving his hands like-[he just don't care] Cough, sorry, of course Liam cares.

Zayn gasps, "I'm sorry to butt into this so far lovely convo but let's talk about how he just basically called me an idiot!'

I roll my eyes, sighing deeply as I throw myself back onto the sofa. I huff and puff trying to get the strand of hair out of my eyesight so I can clearly see. [now the rain is goneeee]. Cough, it's a habit.

After the struggle, my phone vibrates besides me but before I could even peek a glance at the device, someone is up in my grill and whispering into my ear.

"Don't you dare touch that killing device." I realise the voice is Liam's and I roll my eyes dramatically again. "You watch this because I'm soo sure that maybe, just maybe Maybelline won't take notes of this case."

"So if she can't, why the hell should I?"

Liam raises back up, shrugging, "Because for all we know, Maybelline is a makeup line and could be a real person and the true answer to you is that, you're real and  I know for sure because Liam Payne is no blind man, buddy."

"Uh, yeah, Liam also, Niall threw your cap. Stick to that, yeah?" I suggest and immediately the lad is facing Niall and Zayn again with cold stares and yes, if looks could so kill, they would have been shot, stabbed, choked, straggled all in one a few seconds again but yet again, Liam isn't the fast one here to do so.

As they convo who's getting killed first, I quickly aimed for my phone and unlock my phone to see now two text messages from the monster himself.

Just kidding, I'd never call Harry Styles a monster. 'Harry Styles with the massive monster co.ck'? Yes, maybe but a monster? I laugh aloud. The guy apologises to a dog so I don't think he's even near to being a monster. Ugh, geez, I make myself laugh. Knee slappers.

So, I read the first message:

SO ARE WE STILL UP FOR RWISTER OR

Then the second:

WAIT TWISTY

While doing that, a third one chirps in and I chuckle.

K i meant twister not twisty the clown ahs. ik you're reading these, answer meeeeeeeee you poopoo.

So on his request, I type out a message.

Me? Louis Tomlinson? Mate, my feelings are still the same.

Nevermind, that sounds like I'm friendzoning him. 

Maybe you can twist that dick into my ass, indeed yes? Or I can twist mine into yours?

And, I erase that

Maybe you can twist yourself into your bed and go to sleep, selfie bc trrrw, i'm going to meet you

I shrug, feeling a bit satifised with my message and send immediately only to get one back instantly.

Hope you love my mornin' appearance but heads up, if we play twister in bed /most likely/ we'll end up fucking xx

Man, who knew you thought the same as me? xx

I lock my phone realising that even though my best friends are here in my flat arguing about a Toy Story character and idiots, and finding out that my worse enemy kissed technically my boyfriend, I'm here mentally screaming about how HARRY STYLES BASICALLY WANTS TO FUCK ME. Wait, also a boner too which I should probably go fix.

------

IT'S BEEN AWHILE HELLO

OK CAN WE TAKE A DEAREST MOMENT TO REALISE THAT MY BABY IS ALREADY 23 IN AUS., GONNA BE 23 IN THE NEXT 15MINS IN EUROPE AND IS GONNA BE 23 IN NEXT 6HRS-7HRS HERE IN THE US

IT'S TIME TO CRY NOW

louis was born on christmas eve bc he's god's gift to the world amen amen amen.

but who wants to bring the chocolate?

-eddie