#selfie ✌ stylinson [DISCONTINUED]

#twelve

(may have mistakes)

#twelve

Louis'P.O.V

"It's fine, honestly,"

Maybe he said that after Ken-dall dolly offered him her vagina.

"Lou, stop lying," Harry whispers, glancing at me briefly before facing the road again, the car stopping at the bright red light.

"I'm serious," I assure him, forcing a smile on my lips and patting his shoulder smoothly. 

Bi.tch, you know you're lying

"Isn't weird how quickly we're getting along?" Harry decides to let go the topic and I praise him for it because if he was going to play 20 questions, I would be dialing Niall's number by now.

Actually no, because that little Irish human would ask if Harry and I got our "frickle frackle" on - according to what he calls it. Sometimes, I wonder what the hell is wrong with him but, hey, it is what it is.

Harry chuckles besides me, the car starting to move forward again in the traffic, "Is it supposed to be weird?"

I smile, looking out the window as cars and bright lights flash pass, "It isn't weird, really. I mean, you're Harry Styles, people are supposed to get along with you and seriously, who wouldn't? Look at you!"

He chuckles a bit more, "Yeah, if you say so."

I give a noise of confusion, "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, I'll tell you another time, Louis." He whispers weirdly and I watch as his facial expression settles down a bit. I surrender under his request and decide to just play around my phone, completely leaving the Land Rover dead silent with only the motor roaring lowly underneath us.

Then, Niall had to call. He just had too

"Aren't you going to at le-"

I roll my eyes, "No, I'm just gonna let myself listen to my ringtone because it's too good to miss!"

Harry quirks an eyebrow but still facing the road, "I mean.....is it 'Single Ladies' by Beyonce so I agree with you then, babe."

I groan loudly, ignoring the fact that Harry Styles just called me 'babe' and is probably on a secret mission to make my di.ck explode with his voice and raspy-holy god- sexy, voice. 

"Wh-" 

"Louis! Hi!" Niall chirps through the speaker, way too excited for my liking. "How's everything going?"

"It's going fine actually," Until you called.

Niall laughs loudly, "That's great, really, but little bitty question, Lou-lou!" 

Ugh, he's drunk off his arse again.

"What?" I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose with pressure. Something nudges my shoulders and I look to the side to see Harry mouthing to me and asking if everything's okay with the rest. I give him a thumbs up and he faces the road again with a blank look, the green, red, and yellow lights illuminating his face like see-through paint splashed on a piece of blank, tan coloured paper and his eyes representing the true meaning of "eyes are the window to the soul".

Just like the zipper on his jeans is the window to his massive, long and exciting roller-coaster that anyone is willing to ride. Cough, cough, including me, Louis William Tomlinson, of course. I deserve that ride the most.

"Yeah, yeah." Niall's voice comes back to me and I shake my head slowly.

"Put it on speaker," I see Harry mouth to me and I cringe my face, wiggling my index finger in his face telling him a straight up no causing him to childishly pout and and drum his fingers on the white steering wheel. 

"So did you guys?" 

"Wait, what?" I reply to Niall who's now actually annoying me at the moment. He giggles in response.

"Did you guys have the branch in hole experience yet!" He shouts through the phone and before I knew it, the car is twisting in one direction and then in another with me coughing loudly and Harry laughing like he's some lunatic who just killed a innocent girl.

"No! Why on earth are you asking such a -"

Harry's laughing interrupts me and I glare at him but only to hear him laugh harder and one hand gripping his stomach and the other on the steering wheel.

"As I said," I glare again and look ahead to see that the car isn't moving anymore and we've stopped on a random street in the suburbs, maybe. "Why are earth would you ask a question li-"

I suddenly take the phone away from my ears, "Harry stop laughing! I'm trying to ask a question and you keep laughing, shut it and lock it up and shove it in your arse for Christ's sake!"

His laughs only get harder and louder. Wow, okay, that's cool.

"Well," I hear Niall laugh along and I realise that I had put the phone on speaker unknowingly. "I wanted to know because you know those condoms I slipped into that arse of yours? Yeah, little one, those are expired." 

My eyes widen with my mouth agape hugely and I hear Harry trying to keep his snickers to himself - almost like he's laughing so hard on the inside that he may explode.

"So, I'm guessing that the silence means that you're gonna kill me and I should start packing up my things and get my name changed Edward Cullen and move to Alaska and pretend that I have a real life girlfriend named Bella and shave off my hair. Am I right or am I right?"

I take a moment to analyze what the Irish lad said and when my mouth closes and opens again to answer, Harry beats me to it.

"Oh, oh oh," He laughs. "You better start running now, Edward Cullen."

I don't laugh as Harry ends the call with a smirk.

"Still want me to take you home?"

An idea pops into my mind moments later and I seductively bit my lip, "Well, I mean, we could do something else, you know? Something that involves two people...moving together as one and in the end, are both sweaty and panting wildly. What for it?"

Harry's eyes widen, "Ye-yeah,"

"Okay," I smirk. "Where's the twister game mat, bad boy?"

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okay, so i know i haven't updated for like centuries but i'll admit, i was updating finding louis while this was still being neglected. i had writer's block and couldn't figure out what to write for this, i'm sorry guys.

but greetings again fellow people of the universe, questions of the day is, 

who do you prefer more? haylor or hendall and you GOTTA CHOOSEEEEEEEEE yeah, sorry i'm a evil person lol 

- do you guys find this book funny in some way? honestly

eddie