If Only

One

Heaven

Six Years Later

I sat in my mom's living room drawing my six year old brothers. They were playing with their Nintendo switches. They were too smart for their own good. I grew very close to them when I was helping out in my mom's shop six years ago.

Once upon a time, I would have been with my sister, Nevaeh, and our bestfriend Alexis. However, my sister and Alexis have grown closer more than anything. All three of us grew apart collectively because Alexis quit dance to go cheer, and I felt slightly betrayed because dance was a me and Alexis thing. Also, they started to leave me out of things because I'm too "boring" since they wanted to go on "dates" with boys while I wanted to stay home. I just didn't want to do things that will result in me getting in trouble. I got in enough trouble with Nevaeh while I was younger. Why would I want to continue that as I grew older.

All I do now is draw, read, or sleep. If i'm not doing those three things, i'm with my parents and little brothers. I really have a boring ass life, but i'm okay with it. It is comforting honestly.

"Heaven where's your sister?" my mom asked walking in the living room where I was. She sat down in her recliner and kicked her feet up. She had been working all day. Her salon is actually booming. She works everyday doing at least 4 heads a day plus running inventory for each part of her business. She has went back to school for esthetics. She branched out to knowing how to do individual lashes, facials , and waxes. She even teaches lash and hair classes. She's great.

"She went out with Alexis and their other friends" I watched her frown as she looked over at me. She always wants me to enjoy my teenage years. She always talks about how she never got the chance so she wants me to, but I am. I enjoy doing nothing.

"What about you? Why are you not out living the last day of summer? Where's Raymond?" she asked, mentioning my boy bestfriend.

We got super close and he was the only person, other than Nevaeh and Alexis, that I talked to going through middle and high school. He was my bestfriend. He was the one true person that understood me. He was always there for me no matter what. He is literally my other half. We stay completing each other's sentences and thoughts. He's my person.

BUTTT... Things began to change. Everything was going sweet until the end of the first semester of junior year when he got a girlfriend, Kaitlyn. She was in our chemistry class and she was very pretty. Our teacher decided that Raymond and I needed a mix when we were doing projects so we got paired with people other than each other. The rest was history for the two. All second semester and summer, he spent time with her. We probably linked up once or twice, but other than that it's all about her.

"Nevaeh didn't even ask if I wanted to go anywhere. She said she was going to Alexis's house to pick her up, but never came back. Raymond is with his girlfriend" I mumbled the last part "Daddy came over here and we hung out a little, but he had to go handle some business mess" I said changing the subject. She rolled her eyes. My parents are so on and off. He gets mad and jealous when she talks to other men. She gets mad when he gets mad. They end up kissing and fucking to make up. They love each other so much, but they are both too stubborn to realize it.

I'll never forget when my mom was dating this dude from highschool named Cameron. He literally had a crush on her and he never got to act on it when they were teenagers, so this was his chance. The man took her on all kinds of special and spontaneous dates. He spoiled her without her even asking for anything. I actually liked him, but my dad wasn't going for it. He would pop up at the house when my mom had my brothers (this was when they were babies)

Cameron just decided to leave because he didn't wanna feel like he was in competition with someone who was ultimately always gonna have my mom's heart. I could tell that it kinda broke his heart but it needed to be done I guess. Now, my parents are in an up and down relationship.