Ambitious 2| All Grownup

18

KaLani
8 Months Later

I'm Emotionally and Mentally Drained completely.

My heart is empty, life is blank, and my body feels numb. Can't think straight. Gunshots replay in my head everyday.

Sitting in the darkness by myself, my world is empty. Dead roses and ghosts floating.

"How are you today?" My therapist asked me.

I didn't reply at all.

"Come on talk to me today" she said.

"I'm in the same state of mind I've been in for the past seven months, u ask the same question. My world has shattered into pieces, can't no damn therapy help fix my broken heart, my lonely world, my numb body. I feel nothing" I said.

She gave me a tissue. I didn't even feel the tear roll down my cheek, I wiped my tear.

"You have to remember what he said before he left. He love you, u don't have to go thru this by yourself. He would have wanted you to continue to live, u can't live in grief all your life u need to move on and carry his heart with you" she told me.

I got up and started to walk out.

My parents got me a damn therapist I have to see once a damn week. Everything I do, I have the people come to my house. Literally, my nails, lashes, hair, allat folks gotta come to my house and pamper me.

I'm finishing my school online, don't think I can face all of that just yet.

"Turn back around" my dad told me as I walked back in the room and sat down.

I hate therapy honestly.

I lost my child and lost the love of my life and I could have died but god saved me, why??
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I walked into my room. Therapy is over and she went over the same old bullshit.

I'm not going to change my nigga. I just want my babies back.

I laid in my bed and grabbed the picture of me and Tae off my dresser and put it on the side of me and cried myself to sleep.
______________________________

"Wake up, its time to get out the house" I heard serenity say and I woke up.

"I don't want to" I told her.

"Mane come on. U need to get up, ur going to make ur self sick" Ciara said as she helped me up.

"Take a shower maybe it will wake u up" serenity said as I walked into the bathroom and turned my shower water on hot.

I closed my door and removed my clothes and looked in the mirror and saw my scar on my belly from when they had to cut my child out of me and get bullets out.

I had 3 bullets inside of me.

One in my stomach, one in my arm and the last in my thigh.

Crazy part about all of this is all I remember is him telling me he love me. It's like he knew the shit was finna happen.

They found who did and y'all already know who the hell it was.

Bortlen and Melvin ass and crazy cuz after that. They killed their homies a hour after, I heard.

I couldn't even go to Tae funeral, shit fucked me up. I was in the hospital for a whole month.

His parents reach out to me almost every week, I'm the most hurt of all folks. I knew him half my whole life every since we was in middle school. when he said he loved me the shit keep replaying in my head.

I miss him so much.

We have court this month, the other court trials I couldn't go to because I wasn't in perfect shape but I'm alright now. Shit just got me dark on the inside, I'm not as emotional as I was. I was wayyyy worst.

I took my shower and proceeded doing my hygiene routine.

Once I finished I walked into my room and put my pink hoodie on and my slides.

I put my hoodie on my head.

"Let's go" Ken said.

We walked out my room and headed down the stairs.

"Where y'all going?" My momma asked.

"Take her to get fresh air. For the first time in 8 months" serenity said.

"Aww" auntie heather said.

"Finally" auntie meme said.

We walked out the house and I got in serenity car.

She pulled off and drove.

They talked and I ignored them and looked at myself on my snap and took a video.

I look cute kinda.
_____________________________

I ate my Chicken Alfredo and checked my social media and my shit was full of notifications.

Haven't been on here in a while.

I ate and seen stuff folks tagged me in and it was a lot of get well post and praying for u. Shade room posted me and everything, "Stunna 4 Vegas and Kash daughter was recently involved in the shootout of Basketball star TaeVion King the night of Championship, prayers going out to their family".

I scrolled thru my pictures and posted Tae.

❤️:2M
@ThaDonKalani: God I miss you so much😖💔.

I turned my phone off and finished eating.

"When u coming back to school?" Ken asked.

"I don't know" I told him.

Yayo, Glizzy, Goon and their gang walked into Olive Garden and sat with us.

"Oh shit is that Lani?? Finally got her out the house" yayo said Nd I fake chuckled.

"You look horrible" Glizzy said.

I flicked him off.

"Leave her alone" Ciara told Glizzy.

"I love you sis, we gon protect u for him" goon said as he sat by me.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I know" I said.

We all talked for a hour, catching me up on things I missed.