Janella's Patrician

Chapter 14

Not edited.

Nellie woke with the feeling of intense heat surrounding her and a feeling of being weighed down. It didn't take long for her to realise that Ethan had joined her through the night and was now wrapped securely around her.

While she welcomed his closeness she was left with the burning question of Why? He made it clear last night that he didn't want to talk with her so was this a way of him calming his wolf? She had no idea.

The way he'd behaved last night scared her. She felt like that lost little girl all over again. She was just as affected as he was by what Sander said but had to wonder if her life had actually been worse. Ethan had the love of a beautiful woman and together they had a happy life. Regardless as to who she was or why she was willing to put herself in that situation Ethan had lived a happy life while she... she had Cam.

Feeling herself about to cry she started to move away from him only to be pulled back and swamped with arms that held her close to his body once more. Wrapped tightly around her in such a way that she couldn't move a muscle as a leg came across hers  and held her closer still.

Was  he still asleep? His breathing suggested otherwise but ths was the first time she'd woken with him and she wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as his head buried into her hair.

She stayed quiet.

"Love?"

"It's not enough." She pushed at his arms in an attempt to get him to release her. His hold became tighter the more she struggled. She fought both in anger and a hurting heart.

"Janella... stop!"

"Why?"

In less than three seconds he had her over on her back while he was straddling her and holding her arms above her head.

"What do you mean why?" his scowl did nothing to dampen the feelings she was feeling.

"What's the point?" she looked away from him.

"Look at me Janella Freemoon Holden! NOW!"

Her eyes snapped back at him and she could tell he was fighting badly with his wolf for control. His piercing gaze held her eyes locked to his.

"Now tell me.... what do you mean.... what's the point? What the hell is that?"

"Just that. You obviously aren't happy with anything Sander said last night so there's no point in us..." she trailed off as he became visibly enraged.

"There's no point in us?" he seethed "that's exactly the point. It's because of us that we met the people we did. Us is the reason why I had Holly as a mate. Us is the reason why you got Cameron. There is a point to us Janella! Don't you dare ever say there isn't!"

"Really Ethan? Then why wasn't I good enough to talk to last night? You weren't the only one in shock at what Sander told us!"

His expression softened "I'm sorry love, I shouldn't have excluded you. I didn't know how to handle everything.... Holly knowing she was going to die... Hannah being without a mother but still has one because her mother is a Goddess... it was a lot to take in..."

"What? And the things I found out about me weren't?"

"No love, that's not what I'm saying..."

"You know what Ethan, you can cry all you want but you will always know that Holly loved you. You'll know that when she was with you that you were happy... she gave you her daughter for heavens sake!" she drew a breath "What the hell did I get Ethan? I got pain and heartache. I got bullied until I wanted to die... and yes, I ran from there and i know I'd do it again because I STILL have scars from the abuse I suffered through. So while you're playing the pity game try and remember that the decisions made had you loved while I..."