Nothing I Need | Poppy X Reader Story

11. saturday is funday

Y/N POV
I wake up with a peice of paper stuck to my t00th. I pick it out and eat it and vomit it back out.

"Poppy wake up ya slug!" I say.

"What?" She says.

"Help me up I have to piss." I said.

"I'll just grab something for you to use." Poppy says as she dissapears to her room.

She comes back down with sesame street crutches.

"Thank you!" I say as I reach for them.

"Um these are for me..not you ya selfish HOE!" poppy says. "Just kidding here ya go."

I take the crutches and stand up and crutch myself to the shitter room.

I look up and there IS a camera.

I leave the door open and I turn around so my vagina is facing the back of the toilet and I piss into the toilet like a man. I did this so China doesn't see my female pussy vaginal cave.

I finish my piss and I walk back out, forgetting to put pants on.
I walk downstairs and I see Poppy cutting potatoes.

"Hey Y/N want some mashed Potitoes?" She asks.

"Uh sure you shit biscuit!" I say.

I walk over to Poppy and pull down her pants and grab a hammer out of her ass and I start smashing the potatoes with it.

She smiles and we eat potatoes.

"You know, I've been thinking about what I want my future career to be." Poppy states.

"Oh yeah? What is it?" I asked.

"Well you know how I like singing? Well I think it'd be so much cooler if I were a pole dancer! Like I have the muscle, I have the body, I have stuff to attatch my wig to my fat head, and I have poles, I have business cards, I have people who would love to watch... Would you wanna watch?" Poppy explains.

"Um well I would LOVE TO WATCH YOU RUB YOUR SAGGY VAGINA ON A METAL POLE!" I screamed with delight.

"YAY IM GLAD YOU WANNA SEE THAT STUFF PERFORMED BY THE ONE AND ONLY POPPY!" she says as she does a backflip and fails.

We decide to go to a movie theater and request a super long foreign pornography film.

We walk into the room and we take our seats. Front fucking row baby!

We watch as the two elderly women lick each others eyebrow hair and eat their eye liquids.

I can tell it turns poppy on because she starts to stand up and grind on the top of her seat.

"HEY YOIR BLOCKING THE VEIW" we hear an old man say.

I look back and its a grandpa with his 10 grandchildren.

"Shut up ya old coot!" I yell as I flick him off with my middle toe.

"We should, ya know...go get some food?" Poppy says as she gets up and drags me out of the movies.

"Um why did you drag me out bitch! The movie was JUST GETTING GOOD!" I screamed at floppy poppy.

"Sorry I couldn't stand those old shitfucks." Poppy says.

"Oh fine I guess....I pick where we go to eat then!" I said.

"Ugh FINE BIOTCH!" poppy says as she stomps on the ground and cries like a baby right after coming out of its mothers vagina during the wonderful human thing called BiRtH!

"Let's go to subway!" I said.

"Ugh fine OK let's go shank butt fuck dick shit piss ass cunty  cunt." Poppy says as she spits on random people we walk past.

We finally get to subway when we see something crazy...

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602 words

I used to have an actual nice and real legit book on poppy but ya know, I discovered funny shit is the stuff I write best