Girl next door (a larina fan fiction)

Chapter twelve

At first, living with Marina was a good idea. At least so I thought, until the days on the calendar flew by, each with a large red "X" crossing through them. It was early November when things have gotten out of hand, and not with me. After what seemed like forever of fighting whether we'd go to London or stay somewhere far in New York City, we both agreed on a quiet, small house located in a smaller section of London, since Marina wanted nothing to do with the city and refused to give up the steering wheel until we reached where she wanted to go. I've threatened many times to go back to New York, pleading to Marina and trying to convince her I'd stay away from Barrie and Burns, and room 324 on the fourth floor of our cheap apartment building, but both her and I knew that I wouldn't be able to live on my own. We had our separate rooms, made separate jobs and discovered new hobbies, for example Marina now sings. Writing songs were one of her favorite things to do- or at least trying to, most papers would be crumpled up in her tiny hands and thrown into the trash. She was good, not amazing but not horrible. I enjoyed her singing, something about it made me feel good inside and I would always sit on the chair at the corner of the room, listening to her sing while her painted fingers moved across the piano. Everything was fine, until Marina started leaving the house late at night and awaking every morning with a new guy in her bed. She claims to me she's never done anything intimate with them, but she was lying, and you could see it in those large brown eyes. I was fine with it- for awhile. Marina soon found a man she says she has feelings for, but its only been a month of them together which now brings me here. Sitting in the empty living room thinking of her, every little detail of her. How her dark hair matched her big eyes, or how everything in her closet seems to hug her curves perfectly. She stayed fit; her figure represented an hour glass. She was more than beautiful, more than gorgeous. I was under control until my body started aching when I didn't think about her. I became nervous of her every move, afraid to even speak of her in fear of saying something stupid. My insides clawed at me, begging me to think about her or even worse, kiss her pink rosy looking lips. I'd known her for awhile, considering we left the horrid old life we had last year in June and it was now early December. I had to snap myself out of my thoughts when the heartbreaker herself entered the room. I pretended to be enthused by the show on TV, feeling the couch sink a bit when she sat down next to me, our legs almost touching.
"What are you watching?" She asked sweetly, her wide eyes studying me. I looked over at her as well, and her look seemed to be burning through me.
"Nothing special, I was just headed to bed anyways. It's all yours." I watched my words carefully as I started to get up, a soft hand pulling me back down as I swallowed hard.
"What's the matter, Lizzy?" She asked me, turning quickly to the remote and switching the television show off.
"What do you mean? I'm fine. Just very tired." I replied, pulling my wrist away from her hand. She just stared, I could tell she was trying to read my emotions but I tried my best not to show. "Is that guy coming over tonight?" I broke the silence between us, the only sound was the fan blowing cool air around us. She smiled and her face lit up, like she was a little girl at a candy shop.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, we're going out tonight." She said happily, her hands now folded on her lap. "Its getting pretty serious, Liz" She beamed. Jealousy washed over me, but all my weak muscles could do was give a lousy smile in return.
"You've only been together for a month, how would you know?" I blurted out. It sounded rather rude the way I said it, but in my head it sounded more like a question and not a insult. Her smile fell, but she tried to remain positive about my rude remark.
"Why don't you get out there and meet someone? Rylie and I could take you out tonight to the club, maybe you'll end up bringing someone home" She smiled, nodding. My stomach tied in knots at his name, I didn't even get to hear the question.
"No thank you, like I said before I'm very tired." I forced a yawn, covering my mouth with my hand and starting to get up, only to be pulled down once again.
"Oh come on, lighten up. Wouldn't you like to fall in love again?" she questioned. "or at least find someone to start making memories with, you know to forget your past" Yes, i want to make memories with you.
"I never was in love, Marina. I thought I was, but I barely know what love is" Show me what love is, Marina. Let's fall in love with each other.
My body clawed at me, but I couldn't say that to her. Not now, not ever.
"I'm going to sleep, have fun tonight." I got off the couch, starting to walk to the staircase.
"Lizzy, are you sure-"
"Marina, I'm alright. Really, just please stay safe will you?" I looked at her as she nodded, the doorbell rang and she almost jumped off the couch going to the door. I knew she liked him, and I knew he liked her and as much as I wanted her to be happy, a larger part of my body wanted to be the one standing behind that door, taking the gorgeous greek girl's hand in my own, seeing her face light up and that beautiful smile on her angelic face. Instead my body ached even more, as I lay in bed alone, with not a peep in the air, the only thing keeping me awake were the cool covers against my warm skin and the sound of a car starting outside, every so slowly drifting away into the distance.