Fighting Cancer (EulBert)

Chapter Five

It was raining hard on a Friday evening. Eula looked out of the window and watched the raindrops fall on the ground. It's like mother nature could sense that she was gloomy and cried with her.

A tear fell from her eye.

She wiped her tear and decided to go to bed when she heard Alex's car in the driveway. Julie, Sandy and Anna arrived as well. She didn't have the strength to face her daughters, and even her husband because of her guilt. She knew herself that she was pushing them away, and by that, she also knew she was hurting them.

Albert checked his wife in their room.

"Mabuti naman at nakatulog," he whispered, carefully not to wake Eula up. He kissed her on the side of her forehead before going out of their room.

Eula wasn't really sleeping, she just pretended to be.

He told her daughters to come down because he needs to discuss something to them. He also told Alex to come over, too.

The girls were old enough to understand the situation so Albert didn't have a hard time telling and explaining to them what's happening.

Alex arrived, soaking wet from the rain. She went straight to the dining room while drying herself up.

"Good evening," Alex said as she entered the dinning room.

She kissed her dad's cheeks. "Magpalit ka muna ng damit, basang basa ka," Alex nodded and changed her clothes.

Before going down, she checked her mom first.

When Eula heard the door open, she immediately closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.

Alex quickly noticed that her mom's eyes were puffy, and that indicated she just cried hard.

She kissed her mom's forehead and went out of her parent's room.

"May nangyari po ba kay Mommy?" Alex asked as she entered the dinning room. "Parang kakagaling lang niya sa iyak."

On the other hand, Eula decided to go down. She wants to sleep but her thoughts doesn't let her.

"Sisilip lang ako sa kung ano man ang pinag-uusapan nila," she thought.

Eula's POV

I was going down on the stairs when I heard Albert talking. It looks like they're in the dinning room.

"She told me kanina na hindi na siya gagaling. Paunti nang paunti na yung hope ng mommy niyo." He paused. "Medyo nawawala lang pero I'm sure kaya natin 'tong ibalik hope niya. Diba?" I can hear his voice shaking. It's like he is about to burst anytime now. He was frustrated, I can feel it.

My knees got weak, I sat on the second step of the staircase and listened to them. My cheeks got wet and my eyes started to produce tears.

I covered my mouth to prevent myself from making loud sobs.

I'm making them suffer in what I think is the right thing thing to do. Pero kung hindi ko 'to gagawin, mas mahihirapan sila sa future. It's better to hurt them now, than making the hurt worse when I'm gonna be leaving them.

After my husband spoke, no one answered.

"Alam ko, hindi ko dapat kayo hingan ng tulong, kasi you have to focus on your studies and your work. I'm sorry I just -"

"No, Pa. Thank you for telling us," I heard Alex speak. I can sense that she was crying.

"Andito kami to help bring back the old Eula Valdes - Martinez," That was Sandy, my third daughter.

Guilt. That's what I felt. I'm sorry for changing and for hurting you continuously, but I'm doing it for you, guys. I don't want you all to suffer your whole lives kapag nawala ako. Ayokong masaktan kayo habang buhay na wala ako. Gagawin ko 'to para hindi na kayo mahirapan kapag nawala ako. Atleast sanay na kayo na hindi ako kasama kapag tuluyan na kong nawala.

"Oplan: Ibalik ang dating Eula Valdes Martinez?" Anna said to lighten the mood. Ganyan siya eh, magpapatawa kasi she couldn't handle the seriousness. Katwiran niya, hindi niya gusto yung vibe kapag sobrang seryoso, nakaka-stress daw.

I heard them laugh. I peeked in a little bit to see what's happening because no was talking anymore.

I saw Anna stand up, followed by Alex, Sandy and Julie. They showered their father hugs.

My heart was rejoicing but at the same time broken.

It was rejoicing because alam ko na kahit mawala ako, their bond and willingness to help one another won't be different. Alam ko na hindi nila iiwan ang Papa nila and they will be Albert's strength kapag nawala ako.

Broken kasi I should be there, joining them in their hug. Niyayakap nila yung isa't-isa to comfort each other, na dapat ako yung gumagawa kasi I'm their mom.

And as their mom, I failed. I failed to give them enough love, care, and support. In fact, I am the one who's causing them pain and heartaches.

Anong klaseng ina ang gagawa non? Bukod tangi ka, Eula.

"Ma'am ano pong ginagawa niyo dyan?" Carmen, one of our house helpers, said in disbelief.

I wiped my tears and signaled her to stop talking. "Wag ka na maingay na nandito ako, pakiusap. Kunwari wala kang nakita, nagkakaintindihan ba tayo?"

She nodded and excused herself kasi may gagawin pa siya.

I took the a last glance to Albert and and the kids. They were still in that position, crying.

I abruply stood up and that was a wrong move. I got dizzy and my sight became a little blurred, but I just shook it off.

I went back to our room, and sat on the bed. I took a deep breath, and had flashbacks from what I saw a while ago.

I was in the middle of my thoughts when Albert came in.

"Oh Hon? Bakit ka nagising?" He approached me na parang walang nangyari.

Umiling ako at humiga ulit.

"Bakit namumugto yang mata mo?" I asked him, let's see kung sasabihin nito.

"I just.." he stopped. "Napuwing lang tapos kinusot," he lied. Seriously? Sobrang mugto tapos kinusot lang. Gagawa nalang ng excuse, hindi pa ginalingan. Hay nako, Martinez!

I pretended that I was satisfied, and tried to sleep.. again.

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