Sterling

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Warning!

Sensitive content down below!

If you're uncomfortable with that please skip this chapter!

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He gripped the bag in his hand, tears running down his face and staining his porcelain cheeks, biting down on his bottom lip harshly, tugging on it and drawing blood, tasting the metallic taste on his tongue. His body was fresh with bruises after skipping school these past few days without his parents' permission, his head was pounding and throbbing so badly he felt like someone was taking a baseball bat to it.

The blade was becoming more and more tempting, his grip tightening on it and feeling the sharp edges poke through the bag and into his skin. It didn't even hurt, he actually didn't feel anything. He felt so numb and so tired from everything. He was done with everything and everyone, and he couldn't stand being in this world any longer.

He wanted out.

He had gotten so many messages from his friends, and from Jungkook, wondering where he was and if he was okay. He wanted to call them individually and yell and scream at them and tell them exactly how he wasn't okay. Never has and never will be, but he couldn't do that to them because it wasn't their fault, and it certainly wasn't their mess nor their burdens. He couldn't involve them in any of this, because he didn't want them looking and treating him differently.

He cried into the crook of his arm, his knees pulled up to his chest as his hand held the small bag that contained the blade in it, his eyes glued to the thin piece of sharp metal. He wanted everything to end, and he wanted it to end now, but he didn't know if he could do it and leave his friends behind. He didn't know if he could do that to them, but at the same time, he didn't really care anymore.

Jungkook was ignoring him, only talking to him when it was convenient for him, his friends only texting him to ask why he hasn't been at school and wondering if he was okay. His parents were pounding on his door every hour and a half, ready for another round of blackening their son, not even caring if he were to die in their hands, but either way, it was a win-win for them both.

If they beat him to death, then they wouldn't have to deal with their fuck up of a son, and if he were to die because of them, then he would finally get what he was wishing and hoping for. Everything would end in a brutal way, that's for sure, but at least it would all end eventually, right? He would suffer for only a few minutes, maybe an hour if he's unlucky, but it would come to an end soon, and he would be surrounded in nothing but a black abyss, no more suffering and no more pain and heartbreak.

He would finally be free.

He wouldn't have to come home everyday to his parents beating him because they wanted to, or because he simply forgot to do a small chore. He wouldn't have an aching body, a breaking heart, and an exhausted mind, because he really was living in a body that was trying to survive with a mind that was trying to die.

He wouldn't have to go to school and face Bogum's harsh punishments because he felt joy out of it. He wouldn't have to go to school and face everyones stares, whispers, judgment, the nasty notes, the false rumors and accusations. He wouldn't have to face any of them, and that was something he really looked forward to, actually. That was literally like a dream he feared he would never turn into a reality.

He wouldn't have to see Jungkook, and he wouldn't have to face him and feel his heart ache and break every time he looked into his beautiful soft brown eyes he always got lost in, but he also seeks the most comfort in them. He knew it would be hard leaving them behind, but he thought this was for the best.