I was floating on a cloudless bliss. This was what heaven should be like to me. I was swept away in a torrent of need that unfortunately blew swiftly out of control on both ends of the flame. And as my loss of control had no impact other than to make him more ravenous for me his loss of control burned.
So that I was screaming in pain only a short while later. He released me in absolute fear. I could see the anguish that swept accross his features. I turned away unwilling to have him see me like this. Burnt by his glory and rendered unworthy. I could tell you see... that he hadn't known. He hadn't really understood.
I turned blindly seeking Meredith unable to heal on my own anymore I needed sustenance. I ignored the watching angel his obvious horror and clutched Meredith to me even as I opened my mouth over her heart and drank her in. The results was immediate. Not at all the same potent bliss that I had shared with Michael but it also wasn't something that could whirl out of control and scar me.
I released her finally and watched her sweep away in pain and suffering. I hated to have Michael see me like this. But there was no longer any hiding of my true self with him. He now knew exactly who I was and what I was capable of. How could he not know since it was my exact replica who had turned him into the cloak an eternity ago.
He had suffered a fate worse than death from someone just like me. I couldn't pretend I was something I was not. Not anymore. It was inevitable that he found out that I was only my mother's daughter.
Nothing more but with every possibility of being infinitely less.
"Sara...," he breathed out his anguish in a pain filled voice before he fell to his knees before me and wept with a shattering roar.
I gingerly sank to my knees before him. Reaching out tentatively unsure if he would accept my embrace. My offer of comfort. I pulled him into me. Wrapping my puny but titanium strong arms around his large muscular frame. He towered over me. Making me feel small and vulnerable even though we both knew I beyond his ability to do more than burn and that ability too will not be of any good if ever I choose to retaliate rather than to passively accept.
He was no match for me. But then no one really was.
I knew of only two who could answer my questions. There was mother who will not and there was god. Him I have not tried questioning but even as I wrapped Michael up in my embrace and he enveloped me I knew I could not leave that stone unturned.
"I need to speak with him," I said simply. There was no guarantee that god would agree but I knew that he owed Michael something for handing him over to mother as an unknowing sacrifice.
He owed it to Michael and then to me to answer some questions.
Michael leaned back a little to brush his lips tenderly across my forehead.
"I'll try," he said. "Stay with me," he whispered before closing his eyes and taking us both in our full physical selfs to heaven. I heard a cry of pleasure errupt behind me and saw that Meredith had managed to hitch a ride along. The girl must really be commended for unbelievable resourcefulness.
I turned around tentatively still in Michael's embrace and I saw that he had shield me from the glory of the place for I was not feeling the burns. At least not yet.
But it was an audience with god that I seeked. There was no knowing how that would turn out. I watched Meredith scurry away as if a child excited over Disneyland.
"I would have thought heaven inspired a little more revere than camparing it to Disneyland."
I stilled as I begun to realise just who had spoken those words.
I turned slowly then to face the maker of light and all that thrived because of it. I turned to face God.
