Finding Forever (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Up To Me

It was almost impossible not to think about the news, the whole night. Every other though I had was another possibility of what Tom would tell me. Maybe he's going to tell me that he hates me. Maybe he's going to tell me that his life is a lie... and he quit acting. Maybe... You get the point.

We walked through the busy streets. It was getting darker and we decided to turn around and go home. No pictures in this darkness. But honestly, I couldn't care less about the photo project. That was not my number one priority in the moment.

Tom stayed so close to me as we walked. As if he was a part of me. He probably didn't want to loose me in the crowd of Christmas shoppers.

It was finally December. That meant bells, and lights and Christmas. It meant beauty all around.

I didn't mind the fact that Tom stood so close.

But it seemed like every time I got around Tom. I'd remember everything that my mother said about him. Everything that Carl said about him. About how much he cares about me. About how he has never had his heart broken.

I felt a sense of guilt every time I was around him. Fear. Fear that some day, I could tear his heart in two. I could be the reason he doesn't believe in trust, and love, and happily every after.

And yet I still allow him to be this close to me. How absolutely selfish and arrogant am I?

The thoughts swirling around in my mind, began to make my head pound. I dismissed all of my thoughts and continued walking next to him. Not thinking about the consequences now, but knowing that they were going to catch up to me soon. Sooner than I thought.

-

-

I watched Tom as he brushed the tiny snowflakes off of his jacket in the hallway of my apartment.

He took the jacket off and hung it on the coat rack. Then he walked into my apartment and shut the door behind him.

"Aren't you gonna take your coat off?" He asked.

When I finally noticed he was talking to me, I glanced down at my coat and nodded. "Oh. Yeah."

I took off my coat and hung it next to his. "Sorry I just zoned out for a second." I said to him.

He smiled. "What were you thinking about?"

"Just..." I didn't quite know what I was thinking about. "Everything I guess."

Before he could even make it into a conversation, I changed the subject quick. "Would you like some tea?"

He shrugged. "I'd love some. I'll help you make it."

The silence of the room filled the kitchen again. Tom finally got done filling the tea kettle and placing it on the stove. He turned around to me and leaned up against the counter. I avoided eye contact and got some tea bags from the cabinet. Making myself look busy, fiddling through the cabinet.

"Ari? I have one question." He stated out of nowhere.

I kept my eyes off of him and continued to 'look for the tea bags'. "What is your question?" I said.

"You let John go. Burned all of his memory. You moved on with your life. Why don't you try at least, opening that box of your fathers."

I stopped fiddling and grabbed the box of tea bags. I placed them on the counter and turned back to Tom. "Where is all this coming from?" Referring to the random upbringing of my father.