Downside Up [W.Byers]

042

Ruby and Dustin meet up with Steve and Robin at scoops the next morning. "You got the stuff?" Steve asks. "Hell yeah." Dustin smiles, holding up his bag and pulling out a pair of binoculars.

"Alright, Robin. We're off to do some spy craft. Ruby, you coming?" Steve asks. "Uh.. Yeah, sure." She shrugs, following them out.

They walk over behind a large plant, Steve uses the binoculars to examine their surroundings. "See anything?" Dustin asks. "Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for." He shrugs.

"Evil Russians." Dustin responds. "Yeah, Exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like." Steve states. "Evil and Russian?" Ruby cuts in. "Rube, you're really not helping." Dustin whispers. "Sorry." She sighs.

"Tall, blond, not smiling." Dustin explains. "Mm-hmm?" Steve hums in response. "Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing." Dustin adds. "You've watched you many movies, Dustin." Ruby rolls her eyes.

"Movies are a filmed version of reality." Dustin argues. "Right, okay, duffel bags." Steve continues to examine, stopping as he glares in an upwards direction.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." He mutters. "What?" Dustin asks. "Anna Jacobi's talking with that meat head Mark Lewinsky."

"Dude, if you're not gonna focus, give me the binoculars." Dustin rolls his eyes. "Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards?" Steve continues. "I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench."

"Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?" Ruby speaks up. "And Ruby's here. So that's saying something." Dustin adds. "Hey!" She slaps his arm.

Dustin reaches for the binoculars, putting them up to his eyes. "Besides, I don't get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one in front of you." Dustin comments.

"Seriously, if you say Robin again—"

"Robin." Dustin smirks. "No, don't. No." Steve shakes his head. "Robin, Robin, Robin. Ruby join me." Dustin nudges her.

"Robin, Robin, Robin, Robin." They both say in unison. "Stop, no, no, no." Steve glares at the two of them. "Robin, Robin, Robin."

"No!"

"Robin."

"No."

"Robin."

"No! No, guys, she's not my type. She's not even... in the ballpark of what my type is, alright?" Steve sighs. "Whatever happened to standards?" Ruby mocks.

"What's your type again? Not awesome?" Dustin jokes. "Thank you." Steve says sarcastically. "Hm." Dustin sends him a smile.

"For your information, she's still in school. And she's weird."

"I think you just described Dustin." Ruby laughs, causing the boy beside her to shake his head in disapproval. "She's a weirdo. And she's hyper." Steve continues. "I don't like that she's hyper. And she did drama. That's a bad look. And she's in band? No." He shakes his head.

"You sure seem to think about her a lot, don't you?" Ruby mutters. "Now that you're out of high school, which means you're technicallu an adult, don't you think it's time you move on from primitive constructs such as popularity?" Dustin raises his eyebrows.

"Oh, primitive constructs? That some stupid shit you learned at Camp..Know... Nothing?" Steve asks. "Camp Know Where, actually." Dustin corrects.

"And no, it's shit i learned from life. Instead of dating somebody you think's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around? Like me and Suzie. And will and Rube."

"Oh, Suzie. Yeah, you mean, 'hotter than Phoebe Cates.' Yeah, that Suzie. And, uh, let's think about how exactly did you score that beautiful girlfriend? Oh, yeah. With my advice." Steve scoffs. "Because that's how this works, Henderson. I give you the advice, you follow through. Not the other way around, alright, Pea-brain?"

Dustin sighs, continuing to view the area. Suddenly, he comes to a halt, then follows through with a specific person. "Target acquired."

"Where?" Ruby and Steve ask. "Ten o'clock. Sam Goody's." He responds. "Give me that." Steve reaches for the binoculars, following through with the tall man. "Shit. Duffel bag."

"Do you guys really need binoculars? He's right there. I can see him with my own eyes." Ruby chuckles. "Ruby this is serious." Dustin says sternly. "He can only be one thing."

"Evil Russian" Steve And Dustin say in unison. "I was gonna say a child molester, but that works, too." Ruby shrugs.

They quickly run after the man, following him up the escalator. "Slow down." Dustin calls. "We're losin' him." Steve shrugs. "You're getting too close." Dustin continues.

Suddenly, Steve bangs into Mark Lewinsky, who calls out to him
Angrily, "Watch it, dickwad."

"Eat shit, dumbass." Ruby calls back. "You swear?" Dustin turns to her. "On special occasions." She shrugs. All of a sudden, the blond man stops walking, and turns around.

Dustin grabs Ruby's wrist, pulling her to the side. Dustin grabs the phone, talking into it. "Hello, yes. I am fine. How are you?"

"You sound like a robot. Come on." Ruby pulls him out as the blond man continues walking. They peer out curiously, watching him walk in a brightly colored studio.

Jazzercise

"All right, everyone, listen up! I just have one question for you." The man shouts as he unzips his bag and takes off his sunglasses. "Who..is ready to sweat?" He pulls out the large boom box, then unzips his jumpsuit. The women cheer.

"That's right! Okay! Let's start it nice and easy now. Let's move our thighs. Yeah!" The ladies continue to cheer. As Dustin and Steve continue to watch, Ruby breaks into a fit of laughter.

"How is any of this funny to you?" Dustin asks. "It's hilarious. Wow, guys. He seems really dangerous." She laughs.

"Let's get back to Robin. I think this guy is pretty harmless." She chuckles, pulling Dustin away by his wrist. Steve continues to stare as the two walk away, specifically at all the butts waving around.

"Steve!" Ruby calls.

"Coming!"