I sat on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Goosebumps gathered on my legs from the cold breeze flowing through my window. I could feel anger course through my veins. Anger at me.
I had broken one more promise. A promise to my mom, my best friend, and a promise to myself.
There was a knock on my door and I quickly rolled down my sleeves and shifted my gaze from the ceiling to my door way where my mom was standing.
"Hey Jorge. Dinner is ready."
"Okay I'll - I'll be down in a bit"
I gave her a week smile. She failed to return it, and exited my room, closing my door behind her.
I lied back down, rubbing my tired eyes harshly. Nonetheless, I got up and put my blade back in the top of my jewelry box and locked it, before I headed downstairs.
"What?" I snapped at my younger brother, who stared me down as I walked into the dining room. He averted his eyes back to his full plate, clearly hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him, and immediately I could feel guilt fill my whole body. Why did I have to snap at him for something so stupid?
I sat down to my plate which was piled high with food. I sighed and slowly took a few bites. I don't know why else I would've expected of my mother. She had done this for months, attempting to make me eat more. We both knew I couldn't eat much, for a few different reasons..
After five minutes, I was full to the brim. Not even a quarter of my plate was gone, and I hated myself for it. I said an ashamed thanks to my mom in the kitchen before walking back up to my room.
A year and a half ago, my dad decided to fuck us all over, and kill himself. I didn't blame him either. This world sucks, and he knew it all too well.
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If you can't tell, this book will be triggering at some points. A lot of this book is based off of events in my life, such as the dad thing, and self harm, among other things. It is very personal to me. Thank you so so much for reading. I love you 💖
Word count: 392
December 31, 2019
