chapter fifteen
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LEX FOUND ME ASLEEP on my floor when he got to my room. Luckily for me, he had pestered me for a spare key to my room at the beginning of the semester so he was able to unlock my door. He wasted no time and make some tea for me, ordered food then started to wait for me to wake up.
When I woke you, he had been on a call so he quickly ended it and rushed to sit by my side. I hugged him immediately as all the reasons why I was crying came flooding back to me. I tightly clung to his waist as he calmly stroked my messy hair. I was lucky to have him as my best friend because I knew I couldn't be alone at that time.
"It's alright, Mads." He told him as I began to cry and loudly sob once again. "I'm here and you're always going to be safe with me around, okay."
Nodding, I kept hugging him and trying to tell myself I'm safe.
After about an hour of us just sitting in silent as Lex tried to calm me down, I was ready to talk to him. He had to reheat my tea then he gave it to me as we sat on my bean bags.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" He asked, worry laced in his voice.
I nodded and sighed heavily, preparing myself to tell Lex. "Levi isnt going to break up with his girlfriend. She's pregnant because he's been sleeping with her this whole time and he told her about Reed." I listed. "She came here and told me to stay away, not be a homewrecker and belittled my trauma with what happened with Reed."
"She's a bitch and so is he." Lex said and I could see his clenched fists. "You deserve so much better than him, Mads. You're golden and I want you to know that. You deserve the whole fucking world and I wish the right guy could come and give it to you. These other guys are shit and I hope you know it's not because of you. You're amazing."
I wished I was able to believe the words that left his mouth. I wished I knew my worth but with how I'd been treated my whole life, I didn't think I was worth much. I wondered if happiness was even for me.
"Then why does all this keep happening to me, Lex?" I asked, truly curious because I was tired of the tears. "Why can't the right guy come along? And why am I not healing from what happened with Reed?"
"Give yourself time and don't be hard on yourself. You're allowed to heal at your own pace and if someone wants to dictate the pace at which you get better, they don't deserve you."
"Thanks Lex," I said and gave him another hug. "Nate is so lucky to have you. Where can I get one of you?" I joked.
"Gay bars on a Friday night." He said with a straight face but soon, we burst out laughing.
"I love you." I said in between laughter.
"I love you too, Mads."
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