Dare || m.c.

➵ 3.3 - michael

OKAY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT READ IT OR SKIP IT. NOTHING TO DO WITH DARE.
bullies are not insecure. they are not victims. a bully is a bully. I'm sick of people trying to defend the bully by saying shit like "bullies are also bullied" "this is the only way they can get their anger out" like no. There's other ways to get your anger out. If you know someone has these issues, get them professional help. Don't trivialize their actions by labeling them as a consequence of their problems. I have a lot more to say about it, but I'll stop now. Enjoy the chapter. :)

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He hadn't lied to Jade when he said that stopping was easier said than done. He tried to stop every night, when everyone was asleep and he was fighting himself for his life. It was hard, when his selfish choices echoed is his head and urged him to let go, to just drown himself in that tidal wave and wash away along with the countless nameless faces that suffered just like he did. The ones who hadn't been able to stay strong enough. The ones who had given in to that voice and chosen a road that wasn't quite as painful. It must have been the most difficult decision of their life to choose that road, but the difficulty must have been worth it when they considered what would happen afterwards. The weightlessness, the lack of pain, the nothingness. It was all worth it. Michael would give anything for that.

Ever since Jade showed up at his house, he had some more reason to stay. He didn't want to disappoint her, he didn't want her to think that he was a lost cause, even if it was true. He was going to school and trying to be as normal as he was before, but it was hard. The first time he came back from something similar, people had sort of left him to the side, didn't even acknowledge him. He had stayed with Luke and Calum, who eventually brought him back to the social circle.

This time, it was a little different. His meltdown hadn't been as critical as the first one. There wasn't as much collateral damage to fix, but the severity of it was equivalent to the previous one. Back then, he had to befriend everyone he had alienated because they all thought he was a freak. He had disappeared for two months for no reason and then suddenly he was back. People talked and made judgements, not even bothering to ask him what the real problem was. Now, he had been absent for only a few days because of a "fever," so no one suspected anything fishy.

He sat with Jade during art, but the talking was kept to a minimum. It had been a week since they decided to be "friends," and things were somewhat awkward. She wouldn't make small talk with Michael, but she would ask him how he was doing. At some point during class she would say, "Everything okay?" and Michael would nod and say, "Yeah, I'm good." And he was at the time, for the most part.

Today, when they had both put away their supplies and were waiting for the bell to ring, Jade spoke up. "Do you wanna come out tonight?"

"Me?" Michael asked like an idiot, trying to clarify that she was, in fact, talking to him and he wasn't just imagining it.

Jade rolled her eyes and poked the piercing under her lips. "Yes, you. Who else would I be asking?"

Michael shrugged, not having an answer for that. Really, there wasn't anyone else at the table. "Okay. I'll be there."

When Michael walked into the cafe that day, Bryn hugged him for so long Michael thought he would offend Luke or something. She had actually been out sick and hadn't seen Michael since last week, but she knew about what had happened, thanks to Luke, who told her everything.

"You, dickhead, how could you do that?!" She literally cried into Michael's chest, making him feel extremely guilty and uncomfortable. They were standing in the middle of a crowded lunchroom and Michael didn't like being the center of attention like this.