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『 Lee Minho 』

Felix

It's all about Felix

Chan's eyes sparkle with a different kind of love

A love he won't ever feel for me

Chan's pretty lips can't resist the smile

That smile so full of adoration

And love for Felix

Chan's soft, pale cheeks turn rosy red

Because

'Felix'

It's all for Felix

My heart is twisting

The ache makes me scream

I love Chan

Chan

He won't be mine

I'm losing

Then thunderstorms echo, so loud, so ferocious

It makes me shiver

Fear

But what kind of fear?

The rain is cold, icy against my bare skin

Am I alive?

The thunder is no more

Pitch black

An unfamiliar warmth

It engulfs me

Where did this warmth come from?

Wet, wet against my forehead

It's hot

"-me? Minho? Are you awake?"

I immediately squinted once I tried to open my eyes. It was so bright. But I don't see the ceiling. My eyes can't focus. It's blurry. I let my eyes close again. Then something touched my cheeks, wiping away tears. Have I been crying?

After a while, I opened my eyes again.

Squirrel?

Oh, it's Jisung.

"Thank goodness!" Jisung huffed in relief and exited my vision. I assumed he sat down after peering into my face.

I tried to sit up but the wetness on my forehead caught my attention. I touched the soaked cloth, it was warm. Jisung took it off. My head throbbed so incredibly bad. My body was on fire.

"Don't get up, Minho. Lie down." As Jisung said so, he gently pushed me back down by my shoulders. Then I realised I was wrapped in my comforter. I complied and let my head rest on the fluffy pillow. My throat felt dry.

"What- happened..?" I asked in a hoarse whisper.

I closed my tired eyes. I felt the hot, soaked towel being placed on my forehead again. "How do you feel, Min?"

Min?

"Chan..?" I looked to my side, but it was Jisung. He dragged the chair closer to my bed. He was sick with worry. Is he worried for me?

He cares for me?

"I'm not Chan.." Jisung trailed off. "You were blacked out in the bath tub. With ice cold water. Now you're down with a fever.."

As he spoke, Jisung removed the cloth from my forehead. He then carefully combed my hair back, his fingers slightly brushing against my forehead. How strange.. His touch feels nice. He let his hand stay there, twirling and playing with my hair.

Then I vaguely remembered.

I wanted to forget. To forget everything... Chan, the way he looks at Felix, the way he talks about Felix. And the way I love him, so, so hopelessly.

I couldn't recall just how many pills I took. Was it the antidepressant? Or the sleeping pill? I wasn't sure. And I let myself sit in the cold bath and cry. Then, everything turned black. I guess I lost consciousness.

"You know I'm right here.."

I glanced at Jisung, his words were laced with genuine concern. It made me guilty.

I cleared my throat. "I- sorry.. I caused trouble."

Jisung's hand moved from my hair to my cheek. His touch was soft. "Don't you dare say that. You're not going to school until I tell you you can, okay? And I'll come home as early as possible."

He got off the chair and walked away. He then returned and placed a bowl on my bedside table. "I've made soup for you. Let me help you sit up."

I smiled weakly. "You don't have to do this.."

"If you keep talking, I will kiss you to shut you up, baby."

K-Kiss?

I looked away, embarrassed. I heard his husky chuckle at my reaction. He then helped me sit upright.

Jisung took the bowl in his hand. "You're cute on a daily basis but cuter when you blush."

I almost choked at the words. How did he say that so casually? I felt my cheeks grow hotter.

He then held the spoon to my mouth. "Open up."

Despite the embarrassment, I surrendered and allowed him to feed me. He wasn't playing around though, he seemed to genuinely care.

And that felt different.

To have someone else.

Someone who wasn't Chan.

Is it really okay... To let my walls come down?

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