Being With A Jock

Hush Hush

I prop myself up on one elbow at the sound of my mother's voice calling me. I sway the covers off of me and swing my legs off the bed. I lean up and off my bed stretching with my arms wide apart. I yawn a big one and then rub my stomach as I slouch.

My blank panther - I found a couple of weeks ago - approaches me. I crouch down to glide my fingers through his soft fur. It seemed as if he was lonely when I found him as I was coming homing from the library - not too far, so it's a walking distance - and I asked my parents if I could keep him. And you know by now they've said yes, why else would he be there?

I hug and gaze in his mesmerizing eyes. Gold. A deep shade of gold, a mystical touch to it. Familiar, almost identical, of that to Chance's mystic golden eyes. But the memories of Chance, I don't let it interrupt my days. I don't bother to remember what I witnessed, even though it flashes through my mind at times, I continue on with my life.

There are days where I feel sad and depressed, but I pull through and bare with it. I have this endless feeling of emptiness inside me, a heartache that never frees me happiness. It's like something is missing from my life, a puzzle of my happiness gone, a puzzle piece to search for an eternity to find.

I have not seen Chance since that day I ended our relationship, and Tori told me she cursed out at him, ranting on and on, and saying things I shall not repeat. She literally punched him, but it never affected Chance critically, only a slightly broken jaw, which in fact was the same problem of Dynex - my black panther - he had a slightly broken jaw as well.

I find it weird that when I found him, it was the day Tori punched Chance, but I found him in the evening, and Tori punched Chance in the afternoon. Tori hasn't seen Chance yet since that day. Said he left a note on the dinner table that he'll be away for a while, unknown of when his return will be. Unknown of his whereabouts or where he was going away to. Tori is fine with that. Yet, my heart tells me otherwise.

I will admit, I am worried for his safety, it's a feeling I have.

I still love him, but I can't be with him and I need to realize that. I wouldn't want to get hurt anymore.

I scratch Dynex's head and crouch back up. I approach my door, opened it and walk outside to the stairs. As I go down the stairs, Dynex follows behind me. I have a sense Dynex will always be there for me, protect me. I unconditionally love Dynex. It just happened since I found him.

I head to my mother that's in the kitchen preparing dinner for us early. Then we wouldn't have to wait for when dinner's ready for dinner.

"How are you feeling, Thomas?" she asks me with concern.

"Fine, I guess," I say.

"That's at least good," she says. "There's a letter on the table for you," she tells me.

I walk over there and pick up the letter. "Thanks," I tell her and I walk off back to my room. I sit myself comfortably on my bed leaning against the backboard. Dynex leaps onto my bed, circling around and eventually lays over my lap. I smile because I find that cute.

I scan the front of the envelope and all it says is to me and my address. No indication of who it's from. I flip it over brushing my thumb over the flap. I brush it open, slowly sliding the letter out. I toss the envelope on my nightstand and after unfold the letter. The paper itself seems to made from a rich material, nothing like regular paper that is made by tree's. At least from my observation, it doesn't seem to be made out of tree's. It's only designed as if it was paper. It's the way it feels, soft and almost silky, yet, rough in a sense. That's not easily describable.

I begin to read the letter;

Dear, Thomas Allen Hayne,          

        I would love to inform you on a few extra details you may need to know. Who am I kidding, you will need to know them. There once was a boy, a boy who loved his good friend. And on a day, they became official, an official gay couple. But terrible things happened, he had to choose whether or not to participate in Final Reckoning, a tournament of survival and victory, a life or death situation. Have you ever watched the show? You should, because at the end, his boyfriend dies, how sad. Then there was a girl, who fell for the wrong guy. She ended up fighting for his love from a girl who was in her way, but she's happily with her real wolf boyfriend, who has suddenly disappeared, what a shame for her. After that, there was a boy who was mixed up between two of his love interests, how frustrating. But he concluded all of that and was with the right guy, while the other remained his best friend. Yet, this guy's boyfriend went away for an unknown reason. Oh no. And now your ex is gone. Sucks for all four you, but good luck with what comes your way in December.

           Mysteriously by, AA

Who wrote this? And like this? Who is double AA? Why are they telling me about this other three people I have no clue about?

I countless times scanned the letter up until night had fallen. It got me thinking deeply, and I know it must have been written for a reason. A reason unknown at this point, but hopefully will be solved in December as told my life will change then.

More things to worry about, but I can't worry about them now. I have to worry about my self. And fixing me. December is a month I will be waiting for.

December.