I Know I Sound Crazy - Min Yoongi x Reader (Vampire AU)

Chapter 5

That lunch break with Yoongi was more fun than you thought it would have been. Especially considering the fact that everything you had ever known about yourself was flipped on its head. Yoongi was surprisingly comforting to be around. Who would have thought that a middle-aged vampire made good company. You certainly hadn't, but then again, you also thought you were just a measly old human a few days ago.

As well as good company, the lunch break with Yoongi was also very informative. You were slightly more relieved having answered all those questions that had been nagging you from the back of your mind for the past week. But Yoongi could only provide you with so much information, and what was most important, what you really, desperately needed to know, all had to come from your mother. You needed to know why she knew all of this, and why the hell she thought she could hide it, and lie to you about it.

You had gotten home from school that day, determined to confront her about it but ended up chickening out last minute and avoiding her all afternoon. But dinner rolled around, and the two of you always ate together, so there was no avoiding her now. You heard her call for you, declaring that she'd finished cooking. You swallowed the fear and waltzed downstairs, acting like you didn't have a care in the world. Your mother was setting the little two person table when you got there, the golden light from the setting sun illuminating the room.

"Hey sweetie, I made spaghetti tonight. There's heaps left over as well if you want seconds." It was weird seeing her be so normal after finding out she had been lying to you your whole life. "I got some coke from the store today as well, did you want some?"

"I don't know, maybe I'll just have water, or you know, a big cup of blood." The words were out of your mouth before you even realised you'd said them. Your mother froze where she was standing, eyes blown wide.

"W-What?" She asked, finally looking up at you.

"Sorry, that was rude of me. I was just wondering if you were ever gonna tell me I wasn't human or if you thought I was just never going to notice the fact that I suddenly developed a craving for blood and started looking tens of years younger than everyone around me," you chuckled and slid into your seat at the table. Your mother still had not moved.

You didn't think you would be so angry about this. But right in this moment, your blood felt like it was boiling just underneath your skin, and you were having trouble keeping a calm composure.

Your mother was standing speechless beside you, but there was no mistaking the look of absolute guilt and horror that was on her face.

"How did you find out?" She whispered. You'd known she had known, but hearing her confirm it hurt a lot more than you thought it would.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You ignored her question. She was the one that needed to so some explaining in this situation.

"I'm sorry," she croaked, voice breaking. You didn't often see your mother cry, and you wanted to stay mad at her but seeing her like that broke your heart. You didn't let her know that though. "I-I just wanted to protect you," she said and you scoffed.

"Protect me? You thought that lying to me my whole life, keeping me in the dark about the fact I am not human, and then waiting for me to be ambushed by a complete stranger and told that everything I believed was bullshit was protecting me?" You voice had gotten louder at some point and you were nearly yelling, hands gripping the edge of the table so hard your knuckles were going white.

"Y/N, I'm sorry sweetie, please believe me, I was only doing what was right," she cried out and took a step towards you but you stood up and held out a hand to halt her movement.

"You thought it was right to just let me think myself insane when I started turning into something that wasn't human?" You asked.

"I thought you were fine, I swear, your father said you would have been fine," she pleaded with you, obviously distraught, whether it was because you were upset with her or because she hadn't intended for you to find out you didn't know.

"I-I'm too angry at you right now," you said and your mother's face contorted further. "Can we just eat please. I thought I wanted to talk about this but I don't." You looked at your mother as she stared right back at you, eyes frantically searching your face for any sign of emotion but you had slid your walls up for the time being. Letting your emotions grab hold for a moment would lead to a lot of yelling at this point. Your mother finally looked away and turned to serve up dinner. You nearly gasped when you looked down and noticed indents on the table from where you had been gripping it in anger.

You spent most of the meal in silence. Your mum occasionally looking up at you as you stared into your spaghetti and pushed it around, not in the least bit hungry.

"Did you ever plan on telling me?" You asked, seriously this time. Your mother processed the question for a moment, the look on her face letting you know you weren't going to like what she was going to say.

"No," she eventually answered and you sighed deeply.

"Did you think I was just never going to find out then?" You asked again, still not looking up at your mother because you knew you would start crying if you did.

"Yes," your mother said. You really would have appreciated some more words right about now.

"How?" You asked, dropping your fork in the bowl, the loud clang making your mother flinch slightly.

"Y-Your father said you would be fine, that you wouldn't be... like him. I barely knew any of that stuff about him or his kind so I thought you were fine too. I didn't think anything was going to happen to you." You could hear that she was on the verge of tears as well, trying hard to compose herself as she explained why she had been lying to you for seventeen years.

"You didn't think I would want to know? You didn't think it was of any importance to me that I was half-fucking-vampire?" You hadn't intended to swear, you never did in front of your mother, but you were angry, and things like manners kind of went out the window.

"I thought it was safer," your mother snapped, the harsh tone catching you off guard. She dropped her head into her hands and massaged her temples.

"Your dad was... amazing. Everything I could have asked for in a man," she looked up and you finally met her eyes. "But he still died. People decided that he deserved to die just because he was what he was. They didn't stop to see that he was kind and caring and wouldn't have laid a harmful hand on anyone if he tried to. They didn't stop to see that he loved me and he loved you with everything that he was. They killed him because he wasn't human and apparently that was a good enough excuse. And gods forbid me I ever let you meet the same fate. So no, I didn't tell you, because I did not want to lose the only other thing in my life that gave me any worth." After her outburst she leant back in her seat, all energy spent saying all that. You felt bad now. You realised how hard it must have been for her to have to live with all of that, to know that what she was doing was probably hurting you, but it was better than sending you to the same fate as your father. And to have to do all of it alone. You understood her pain, and you understood why she did what she did but you couldn't let go of the anger right now, the thought that maybe she could have avoided all of this if she just told you abut this from the start so the two of you could work it out together.

"I'm going to go to bed," you whispered. You were bone dead tired now and tears were threatening to spill down your cheeks. Your mother didn't say anything as you stood from the table, your dinner still untouched, and made your way to your bedroom before collapsing on the bed. You surprisingly found yourself wishing Yoongi was there. You barely knew him, had only spoken to him a handful of times, and yet you felt somewhat attached to him. Maybe it was just because you had so little friends that at the first sign of kindness shown your way, you grew attached. It didn't stop you wishing you could talk to him though. Joke about his old age, and ask embarrassing questions just so you could be distracted from the craziness that was your life for just a second. Take a break from the torrent of conflicting thoughts and emotions that were raging inside you. But he was not here right now. No, you were alone.