Different (bxb)

9. Bowling

"Ollie... It's getting pretty late. Can I crash on your couch?"

"Anytime you want", I answer, maybe a bit too fast.

Wrapping himself like a burrito in the blanket I brought him, only his head peeping out, he asks:

"I'm hanging out with a bunch of friends tomorrow... wanna come?"

I choke on thin air at the simple mention of it. "Are you sure you know who you are talking to? I'm not..."

"I know but... It still would be nice to have you around, y'know... It's not like I'm gonna force you to come though. It's just a bunch of guys going to play a little bowling game or two, nothing big."

Meeting some people can't be that bad, right?

•••

Why did I even agree to this.

Nick's so happy that I can't back off, but inside I'm a nervous wreck. I just hope he won't find out how hard it is for me to go. I tried to dress a bit better, and Nick seems to notice by the way he looks at me as I put on some jeans that don't even have holes in them. Thankfully, he doesn't mention it.

It's a twenty minutes walk to our meeting place, and I use that time to clear my head off from all of my negative thoughts. The air is still cold even with the spring that is soon to come, our boots leaving footprints in the snow all the way to our destination. I can't help but complain about my frozen nose, only earning myself a laugh from Nick. I grumble a bit, never admitting that the sound of his voice lifts my mood up a bit.

As long as Nick's by my side, the evening doesn't get too bad. He's obviously the only one who I talk to, so technically I don't really "meet" anyone, but I'm still happy to be a part of something. I'm pretty shit at bowling, but that kinda turns in my favor as it makes the others laugh. I get teased a bit, but I don't sense anything mean.

They're actually quite nice. Not that I expected them to be rude or something, but I'm so used to people acting as if I don't even exist that it feels weird nonetheless to be treated as a normal human being.

The game is half completed when Adrien, the loud goofball of the group, comes and sit next to me. He pulls his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer as if we were long date friends, earning himself a glare from Nick. Then, he asks the question all of them seem to have been dying to ask over the past half-hour:

"Sooooo", he starts, his glaze and everyone else's set on me. He goes on: "We see you two together pretty often, sleeping over at your place and stuff... Are you and Nick a thing now?"

I choke on my drink, unable to breathe. My face turns redder than it ever was before, and that seems to be the funniest thing they've all ever seen. Even those playing on the lane next to us seem amused.

"It's not... Nicholas' not like that... I..."

I look down, unable to speak. My mood lifts up a little when Nick puts his hand on my shoulder so that he can reach over me to whack Adrien for asking such a question. However, I can't help but notice that he seems pretty embarrassed too, showing an unusual slight blush that honestly suits him well.

That stops the laughing hyenas' (that's really how they look like) questions, at least for the moment. Nick rises to throw the bowling ball, not so surprisingly resulting in a strike.

When he comes back next to me, I can't help but notice he sits a bit farther from me than he was earlier. I sense his discomfort, but I can't do a thing about it with all of his friends around us.

I later head home with Nick by my side, earning ourselves a few more comments from his friends. The farther we get from the bowling place, the closer we get to one another, until our shoulders almost touch.

"I'm sorry about them", Nick says in a sigh. "But I'm curious about that thing you said about me "not being like that". Why didn't you defend yourself instead of defending me?"

I shrug, for a moment unable to answer. Taking a deep breath, I avert my eyes from his. Remembering some painful memories one by one, I slowly explain, finding it hard to talk: "Because I know how it's like to be teased as people find out you're gay."

My head down, focusing on my breath as I know what I just said may change our relation forever, I go on: "I didn't want them to think you were like that because of me. Trust me, high school's been pretty... rough for me. It's not like I was bullied or anything. It's just all those homophobes hiding behind a grin because it is not well-seen to be one. Acting as if they never saw me, looking right through me, freaking out when I looked at a guy for more than three stupid seconds, avoiding me in the locker room. I'm already open about my sexual orientation so fuck it, but I won't drag you down with me."

I don't know if he thinks it through before he acts, but he takes my shaking hands in his, steadying them. He stops walking to face me, but I still can't bring myself to look at him. My sweaty palms stuck uncomfortably in his grasp, my face starts to burn.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know", he finally says.

"You're not gonna run away or anything? And you know you're holding a gay guy's hand, right?"

"I promise, I'll never do such a thing. And yeah, I realized that, but I guess that's what I would've done with anyone. Do you want me to treat you differently or is this all right?"

My cheeks are seriously betraying my emotions. I raise my eyes to find his, only to find worry buttered all over his face. I manage a few stumbling words: "It's fine... Thanks."

A smile of relief spreads on his lips, soon followed by mine. He then lets go of my hands, but I don't mind. I'm so happy that I think I could just start floating like a stupid helium-filled balloon. My only friend is still standing there, by my side, no matter what happened earlier.