The Scars They Hide

Chapter 18 - Remembering What was Lost

Chapter 18 - Remembering What was Lost

With May done and occupied with her toys, Lutfiyah ate the rest of her food in companionable conversation with Jaafar.

Finally, she stood up to move the dishes to the sink and stopped in surprise when he shook his head.

"Sort May out and I'll do this."

"No! I can't let you do that."

He rolled his eyes. "You aren't letting me do anything. I'm telling you that I don't mind cleaning up."

She frowned, thinking of him in her kitchen. He wouldn't know where things went and what if he washed something wrong and-

He chuckled and shook his head. "This is that 'this is my territory thing' isn't it?"

She started to sputter because that wasn't how she would put it but still. It kind of was.

"It's fine. I get it. Okay. You go sort May out and I'll help you when you get back?"

She heard his tone and knew it was a suggestion but he said it like an order and it thrilled and annoyed her at the same time. Realising that he wasn't actually being unreasonable and was rather doing her a favour, she agreed and went to wash and change her daughter.

Tired from her outing and the sugar rush finally wearing off, the child didn't complain about going to bed and was falling asleep before she'd left the room, mumbling a greeting to Jaafar.

She walked into the kitchen and was surprised to find that the dishes had been stacked neatly, ready to be washed, leftover food neatly set aside for packing.

"I didn't know which containers you used and I didn't want to dig through the cupboards without your permission."

"I have to tell you, I'm shocked."

He shrugged. "I know. Men don't do these things blah blah. Well most men don't. But, well let's just say that I learned a long time ago to be different."

He said it lightly, the conversation was light but the meaning behind it was something that she knew she wasn't ready to touch yet.

So she just nodded in acceptance and tried not to jump when he sidled up next to her at the sink, waiting to rinse what she washed.

"How is your father?" Jaafar asked into the soft silence, taking a soapy plate from her hands.

She dipped her hand back into the soapy water, grabbing blindly in an effort to look busy and wondered what on earth was in the water lately that everyone who one usually had to drag words out of were suddenly all for conversation. Not that she minded. She loved this new talkative Jaafar. But she also didn't want to have to answer. "He's okay, I mean, considering."

Jaafar just looked at her silently until she looked up and elaborated. "He's, I mean, the thing is. My-my father is a good man, Jaafar. Just, when my mother passed, it broke something in him. It's you know, if I think about it really, it wasn't that long ago. May is three now so it's barely been more than two years."

And then the thought hit her. That yes. It hadn't been more than two years but when the day came, she'd spend the entire day comforting her father and wouldn't allow herself to feel the pain. It wasn't an anniversary really but rather a shock to the system that she was actually gone.

Without warning, tears sprang to her eyes. She looked away but she knew that Jaafar had already seen, had heard the crack in her voice.

She tried to wipe the tears from her face but now that her mind had reminded her what she hadn't allowed herself to think about in a long time, the tears wouldn't stop.