The Scars They Hide

Chapter Nine - How It Happened

Chapter Nine – How It Happened

Four Years Ago...

When Lutfiyah was two, her mother miscarried in her first trimester. When Lutfiyah was five, she miscarried in her first month of pregnancy. When Lutfiyah was ten, her mother carried the twins to full term and then gave birth to two stillborn babies.

Lutfiyah never heard speak of more children after that.

The doctors spoke of natural killer cells and treatment that was being rejected. They spoke of cold in the womb and complications and her mother's body's inability to bear healthy children and her mother would have been a broken body with no soul if it hadn't been for Lutfiyah. Lutfiyah who was proof that no matter what science said, Saffiyah Abbas was capable of birthing a healthy child. It was just not meant for her family to be bigger.

She always said that she would have children to love when Lutfiyah had her own.

This was not what she had meant.

"Are you one hundred percent sure, doctor? I mean, could there have been a mistake?"

The doctor looked down at the pleading woman and regretfully shook his head. Normally news of a pregnancy was met with much happier expressions. The looks of devastation on all three adults' faces were quite distressing but he understood why. This was not a child that was planned. It was not a child from a happy relationship or any sort of relationship for that matter. This was a child of abuse and horror and it was no wonder that the woman carrying the embryo looked like she was about to faint.

Lutfiyah stood up, ignoring the doctor's concerned looked and hurried out of the room, turning a deaf ear to her mother's calls. She broke out into a run and turned towards the stairs, climbing until she reached the top floor of the hospital. She smiled wanly at the nurses as she passed them, walking now as fast as her legs could carry her, her bones trembling at the unnatural pace she set for herself. Eventually, she reached the end of the corridor and she pressed her forehead against a window, her hot breath steaming up the glass.

She placed her hands against the window pane and pushed, wanting to shove herself out, just out of this body that was betraying her even as she breathed. It wasn't only her anger pushing out but rather her pain and frustration and everything that went with it. Tears streamed down her cheeks leaving behind wet, salty tracks and she gasped out a breath, feeling as if her lungs were squeezing on themselves. She blacked out.

Lutfiyah opened her eyes and realised that she was laying on a hospital bed, the doctor who had given her the news leaning over her and flashing a light into her eyes.

"Welcome back to earth, Ms Abbas."

She looked around and saw her parents' concerned gazes and she felt a flush of shame rush through her. It seemed that all she did nowadays was worry them.

"I'm sorry," she said, her gaze looking at the floor in guilt.

Her father frowned and shook his head. "Don't you dare be sorry, Lutfiyah. This is not your fault and we just have to remember that Allah will not give us more than we can handle. We love you and we just want to see you happy. As happy as can be."

Her gaze flickered down to her stomach and lingered there, her brain unable to process the fact that there was a living being growing inside of her.

"How did this happen? I thought that the morning pill was supposed to prevent this from happening," she said, lifting a questioning brow at her doctor.

The doctor cleared his throat. "I see from your file that you only orally ingested it after you woke up from your coma which was a week after your incident. The pill has a much higher chance of working if administered in the first twenty-four hours after penetration. So I presume in your case that it was ineffective due to your late ingestion."