Getting Lost on the Roads of Life - a KakaSaku Story [CONCLUDED]

Not Alone

There were only a few hours in the night during which the darkness truly enveloped Konoha. It happened some time past midnight when the colorful lanterns in front of the restaurants and bars were stowed away until the next nightfall and the street lamps were switched off a short while after when even the latest party gowers had found their way home. It also became quiet then. Voices died away, laughter moved behind walls to become whispers and giggles. Even the cicadas decided they needed a bit of rest before the birds would awaken a few hours later.

In the military, these few hours were called 'the Darkening'. The Darkening was the most opportune time for an attack on an enemy town. But every secret branch operative knew - the Darkening was also the most opportune time to leave on secret missions.

Leaving Konoha unseen was not quite as difficult as entering the village without being caught by one of the gate guards. And yet, Kakashi took extra care to scale the wall as soundlessly as possible and where the shadows were the thickest. Leaving Konoha without permission from the Hokage was a grave crime for a shinobi on active duty since it was considered desertion - so better make damn sure you got to actually go through with what you were planning before your village's special forces hunted you down.

The rusty red civilian backpack he was carrying didn't weigh too much, but it was far more ungainly than his military one with a tendency of the straps to cut into his shoulders. Also, the long green trench coat he wore made moving in silence difficult and the large shawl he had bound around his nose was hot and suffocating. But the worst... was the wig. It just did not want to stay put, as if his hair was trying to battle for supremacy just because it felt offended that he wanted to cover it up.

After descending on the other side of the wall just as silently as going up, he sat still for a while and listened into the night. The thick forest encircled the village from all sides and so it was night animal sounds his ears were picking up. Foxes. Owls. A badger mother calling to its young. It was sounds he was very familiar with. They were also making him acutely homesick, before he had even left.

Kakashi had done the best he could to put his affairs in order before leaving. But then again, he had seen through his own excuses a while ago. Either he would leave now, even when there were so many things demanding his attention - or he would simply never go through with it.

He had played along with Sakura's earnest attempts to help him with the aftereffects of the Tsukuyomi. The treatment was called "hypnotherapy", she had explained, she had acquired the basic knowledge for how to do it from Tsunade and would try out a few things she thought were useful in addition. To him, it sounded just like genjutsu, but she had said it wasn't. No illusion or manipulation from the outside, no use of chakra. It was his own mind who would do the healing, with no shortcuts. It was meant to last. It was much more difficult than cheating with jutsu. Her words.

"Tomorrow," she had said, seeming a bit nervous but also excited. He would have liked to kiss her very much, but wanted to respect her wishes. She was the doctor, he was the patient. Doctors did not kiss patients, she had said. So be it.

"Tomorrow," he had echoed and smiled.

Tomorrow, she would find the hospital bed empty. She would be angry and disappointed. Likely that she'd be concerned too - he was the most sorry about that. He should have told her he was coping alright, he thought. He had used the Mind-Sealing jutsu once more and had been able to push the devastating memories away far enough so that they could not incapacitate him again.

Maybe he would have a chance to apologize to her one day. Leaving her with Sarada by herself... it would be so hard for her. But he was confident that there were many people in Konoha who would help her. Iruka. Anko. Tsunade, Shizune. Her friends... Ino. Naruto. And eventually... Sasuke.