Getting Lost on the Roads of Life - a KakaSaku Story [CONCLUDED]

Eight Pills

It was one of the most basic human needs to be loved. A gentle touch, an encouraging smile, a few friendly words... it did not take much to make you feel like you belonged and only a little more to become thoroughly addicted to touches, smiles, and words.

But with being loved came the wish to love back, to value somebody else more than yourself. It was one of the greatest weaknesses an elite shinobi had to overcome in order to be a blade that could be wielded with the necessary precision and mercilessness.

And yet, the most meaningful deaths Kakashi had ever witnessed had all been the sacrifices of people who loved someone more than themselves. Those memories lingered and a foolish part of him yearned to be like them. A lifetime of solitude in the service of Konoha, was it enough?

Yes. It had to be enough. The foolish part could be kept at bay fairly easily. He knew too well how devastating it was to lose those you had grown attached to, those who gave you the warm feelings of belonging. Repeated grief... it shattered the world and you never fully recovered from it.

But even during his darkest hours, he had retained some of his humanity, despite those who had tried to take it from him. He was glad about it on this day, on Konoha's rooftops - because how else could he have felt happy to have returned confidence and joy to someone who deserved it? And yet, his foolish side knew that forming attachments was not something he could afford. Even if Tsunade, with her keen eye for lonely hearts, was thinking him fool enough to forget this most basic rule. It should have vexed him greatly to be considered so predictable, but the situation he found himself in intrigued him enough to wait quietly and see what she would try to do next.

Until then: Just feel warm a little longer. A gentle smile, take it and remember it in that place of darkness you must return to again.

***

Here they were, standing on the rooftop in the fading light of this strange day, smiling at each other. It felt ... it felt so right even if Sakura knew very well that thinking she would love to run over rooftops with him more often was probably not so right.

"Let me cook something," she said, still happily bathing in her adrenaline and endorphin high, just as he said "Can I buy you something for dinner?" at the very same time.

There was a small pause, during which she waited for him to say something more. Only, he didn't, he just continued that signature smile of his that was incredibly disarming, even if you weren't armed at all.

"Those udon noodles we bought don't keep long, they're fresh," she said, regretting that she was so frugal. She would have liked to take him up on his offer, but letting food go bad? She could not do that.

"If you let me help?" he shrugged and lithely slid down the side of the roof that led to her apartment, disappearing from view with an elegant jump dive.

Show off.

She grinned and followed after him a bit more slowly, no need to overdo it after already using so much chakra today.

Kakashi waited at the open window, extending his hand to help her in. The gesture was probably nothing special, but it did seem very gallant to Sakura. No wonder, at the hospital, there was nobody who had time to spare for something like it, always rushing from this room to the next to prevent death. As she gripped his fingers tightly to climb in, Sakura noticed he had put on his blue Shinobi shirt over the one with no sleeves and it was already buttoned up. Remarkably fast.

Fifteen minutes later, she felt like screaming in annoyance because he was so very slow. Very carefully, he cut each piece of vegetable into perfect tiny squares and arranged them prettily on a series of plates. Snow peas, shimeji mushrooms, corn kernels, fresh bean sprouts - yes, those too! - spinach, tomatoes.