Getting Lost on the Roads of Life - a KakaSaku Story [CONCLUDED]

A Mother and Her Child

Sakura was gone.

Kakashi felt the sad emptiness of his room even before he was fully awake. He knew instinctively he should remember something about the dream he was surfacing from... but he could not hold onto it, however important it seemed. The images burst one after the other like soap bubbles, leaving him with a discomforting feeling of deja-vu but nothing else.

Everything smelled of Sakura.

He wanted this scent to never fade and at the same time wished it gone already. There was an ache inside of him that he had no experience with, but ironically, thanks to reading Icha Icha, he was well-equipped with the vocabulary to call it by its proper name.

Yearning.

How stupid of him to fall into such a trap. Had he not sworn himself never to end up like the sad characters in Master Jiraiya's books? Lying around in the semi-darkness, miserable and alone with a growing lump in their throats, yearning endlessly for a woman they could never have?

"Sensei?"

The familiar voice at the door was welcome because it promised to shake him out of his self-pity.

"Kaeru?" Kakashi said and sat up. "What is it?"

"Oh, good, you're awake," the young Anbu said and cautiously opened the door. It had to be late at night, the lights in the corridor were at their lowest. They were never fully switched off since nobody wanted elite troops to fall over each other in the dark when they had to leave at very short notice, always bathing the Anbu headquarters in a strange semi-light. It was befitting for elite assassins who got a lot of their fame from their secrecy.

"How are you feeling, Sensei?" Kaeru asked.

"I'm okay," Kakashi replied and it wasn't even a lie. Though his chakra was still very low, his reserves were replenished enough to allow him to move without toppling over. A parting gift from Sakura? He usually did not get back to his feet that fast.

"So...," Kaeru had something to say it seemed, but was not quite sure how to breach the subject.

"I need to take a shower," Kakashi murmured. He had to wash the scent off or he would not be able to function normally, that's how bad it was. But just when he wanted to swing his legs out of bed he realized he wasn't wearing any trousers and stopped himself. He fished for the bottle of water that he always kept between the wall and the bedframe instead and drank deeply. That always happened after chakra depletion: he got awfully dehydrated and was soon going to be thoroughly famished. There was never any food at the Anbu headquarters so he better got moving.

"I think you should go to see the Hokage," Kaeru said, though sounding doubtful.

"Did something happen?" Kakashi perked up.

He would rather not see the Hokage for a while if there was a choice. Yes, he was angry. And hurt. He had put his life on the line for the village so many times and she still did not trust him? It would take an apology to forgive her.

"Not... directly," Kaeru evaded his question.

"Out with it," Kakashi sighed.

"I spoke to the new Anbu recruit just now," Kaeru said.

"New Anbu recruit? I don't think we have...," oh. Of course. "Ah. Bird mask?"

"Yes! Her!" Kaeru confirmed eagerly, "She is great at Genjutsu. Have you tested her, Sensei? I wouldn't mind going on missions together."

Kakashi snorted. Marvelous.

"Sorry," Kaeru smiled shyly, "I guess I got carried away a little. But that's not the point. I... I so there is a visitor at the Gate who said she wanted to see you. She's still waiting."