Guilty By Association

Chapter 31 - Doing His Best

Chapter 31 – Doing His Best

Alex couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. At times, he couldn’t even think.

He was a mess. A scenario of what-ifs was always passing through his mind. Was Kelsey safe? What if she wasn’t? What if she wasn’t alive? What if she needed him? What if he couldn’t come through to her? What if he was being foolish? What if this really was Kelsey? What if it wasn’t?

He wasn’t just a mess, he was dysfunctional. And everyone could tell.

After he asked Shay to check up on things for him, he was feeling guilty. What if he was wrong to include Shay in his doubts? That’s all they were: doubts. He couldn’t confirm anything.

He wanted to say he was doing his best, but he felt like he wasn’t just failing Kelsey. He was failing his team, his city.

He felt helpless.

But no, he wanted to do something. He was going to do something. He wasn’t going to fail everyone. He was going to come up with a plan. He intended to get to the bottom of whatever was cooking in his office.

He had a plan. Sort of.

He needed to figure out whether this was Kelsey or Kara, without letting her find out he was suspicious. It would be okay to confront Kelsey. She’d be okay. But if it was Kara, he didn’t want her to put her guard up any higher than it already was.

He was doing everything all wrong, as it was. He was already too attached to the victim. This wasn’t just like any other case, anymore. It had become a personal case, and in his profession, Alex couldn’t put personal and professional in the same box. They couldn’t exist together.

But they were, and that was why Alex knew he was doing it all wrong.

A part of him told Alex that he was rushing. He wasn’t even sure whether the Kelsey in front of him was really Kara. Finding that out should be his first and only priority at the moment, apart from his work duties.

He knew he had Shay on his side, but that didn’t assure him the slightest. Alex knew he could trust Shay with his life. He’d done so on several occasions. So, why couldn’t he count on her in Kelsey’s case? What if she messed up? What if she went wrong?

Alex knew he should be able to count more on his team, but he just couldn’t. Everything was so messed up right now. Kelsey had become important to him. He knew he couldn’t love her, not yet, but she was someone he could love and that made him not want to lose her.

Besides, Shay promised him that she would try. He counted on her. He had to.

His cell phone brought him out of the self-misery and depression he’d allowed himself to fall into since arriving at his apartment. Seeing Shay’s name on the screen, he immediately answered it. “Did you find anything?” He asked.

There was a moment of brief but certain pause on the other end of the line. “She’s staying with her cousin, Verona.” Shay finally said, reluctantly. “There’s nothing really out of the ordinary, Alex. I know I was the one who told you to stay alert, but…”

“But?” Alex pressed when Shay didn’t continue.

She sighed on the other end of the line. “But I think you’re overreacting.”

“Overreacting?” Alex was shocked. “I’m not overreacting.” This was serious.

“Alex, you’re paranoid.” Shay said, straight to the point. “You hadn’t seen her for days, right? You told me so, yourself. Maybe she changed a little. There’s no way she could be Kara. There was someone on her at all times.”