Help me. (Roman x Virgil)

Ch.3) Did I even make a sound?

((Trigger warning!!!! This chapter contains thoughts of suicide, mention of a panic attack, another panic attack, and self deprecation.))

~Roman pov~

I busted down Virgil's door because he wasn't answering me and I was getting more and more worried. When I looked into his room it was very dark but I could slightly see that he was curled up into a ball and sobbing. It seemed like he could barely get a breath in before another sob racked his body. I ran over to him and got down onto the floor picking him up. He looked so in pain, eye shadow running down his face from the tears. I lightly rubbed his back and tried to make his breathing match up with mine by slowing my breath. "You need to breathe Virgil." He seemed to calm down after a bit as his breathing steadied slowly.
"Roman?" Virgil's voice cracked as a few more tears ran down his face smearing the eye shadow more.
"Hey, shush, it's okay Virgil." He put a hand to his chest and took a deep shaky breath which caused him to wince slightly. I felt bad for him if I'm going to be completely honest with myself. How did this even start? Was it because of me? I looked down at Virgil who had fell asleep. I'll ask him later I guess. Starting to lightly run my hands through his hair I get a bit drowsy.

^Patton pov^

The cookies and muffins were done. There were exactly 430 muffins and 450 cookies. I don't know what to do now because I finished cleaning and the dessert was still cooling off. Looking around one more time I sigh with satisfaction and walk into the living room. I got the remote from the couch and turned on Steven Universe. Getting so invested in the show I didn't hear or see Logan come down and sit next to me. When the commercials came on I looked over at Logan and got scared causing me to yelp and fall off the couch. He laughed a bit.
"Did I scare you Patton?" I nodded and responded back with,
"You almost gave me a heart attack!!!" Logan looked a bit confused.
"I don't see how that could be physically possible but okay." Our banter continues on for a while before I realized that I missed three episodes of my show.

\\Time skip brought to you by Logan getting mad because Roman ate all the Crofters jam.//

Before I knew it I had accidentally passed out on Logan's shoulder. I don't think he minded though. At least I hope he didn't.

*Virgil pov*

The last thing I remember is after calming down seeing is seeing that Roman is the one who helped me through the panic attack. Now I'm in my bed, I don't know where Roman is or what happened, and my door is fixed somehow. Shrugging it off I stand up and almost collapse but right myself on the table by my bed. Shaking slightly I make my way to my personal bathroom. When I turn the light on it blinds me momentarily before my eyes adjust to it. The faucet to my sink looks a bit dirty being smudged with dried water spots. Not having the energy to clean it off right now, I just turn the water on and rinse the streaked eye shadow off my face. I look back up into the mirror and sigh lightly. " I'm so ugly and fat. Why can't I just die already? I mean everyone else would be better off without me won't they? They don't care so, maybe I'll just kill myself? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Slowly walking over to my cabinet I pull out my razor. Staring at it made me feel sick but, I want this don't I? Putting it to my wrist I hesitate. "What am I doing? I can't do this!! God, I am so weak. No wonder the others don't like me." I scoff lightly as tears fall down my face. Chucking the razor across my bathroom it bounces off the wall and slides back to me landing next to my feet. Trying to stop the tears from running down my face I fall to my floor and put my head on my knees. Words swirl around my mind, they won't go away, please make them stop.

"Worthless!!"

"Burden!!"

"Ugly!!"

"Fat!!"

"Fake!!"

"Phoney!!"

"They don't love you."

"Pathetic!!"

"Why don't you kill yourself you nasty little brat?!?!"

"Trash!!!

"No one will ever love you!!"

"Please......stop....." Gasping for air I let out a sob. I was shaking harshly. My mind was still being plagued by those words. I was pleading in between my breaths. No one will ever hear me crying because of where I was. My door and bathroom door was locked so I don't think anyone can even get in here anyway. "They won't even want to come in here anyway. What was I thinking? Was I even worth it to them though? Who am I kidding of course I'm not worth it to them I'm just a burden. But did I even make a sound? Will I ever make a sound? Will they ever listen?"