INSTEAD, james potter [1]

Chapter Sixty-Two

James Potter and Lily Evans' relationship had been going strong for over a month, and all of Lyra's selfish hopes and dreams of them only being a rebound fling faded more and more for every day. 

She just wanted to cry. And she did cry. A lot. But only when nobody could see her. Because, as far as anybody knew, Lyra hadn't ever loved James and that was just the way she needed it to be. 

Not wanted. She wanted to be with him all day, every day. But she had made a choice to protect him. She couldn't just give up because she was hurt. She loved him so much more than she wanted to be with him. If her pain was needed for his safety, she could live through pain for decades.

Late march had approached, meaning the 27th. The day that James turned eighteen. Lyra had a feeling there was going to be a huge party in the Gryffindor common room that night, not that she'd be invited anymore. 

The worst part was that it was a reminder of how much time had passed. Lyra had broken up with James in early January. She hadn't held him, kissed him or told him she loved him for almost three months. 

That meant there was less and less of a chance of him realizing she had lied and for him to choose to fight for her. Part of her wanted him to. The other part couldn't bare the thought of him being tortured and killed because of her selfishness. 

No, she needed to be selfless for once in her life. This was her opportunity and she had taken it gladly.  

Lyra was sure her wistful stares were quite obvious on March 27th, her gaze always straying towards the Gryffindor table at lunch. Some people tried to start conversations with her, but she never really gave them much incentive to continue, so they left her alone.

Watching James meant watching Lily, and the way they were practically snogging each other's faces off in celebration of his eighteenth. They weren't usually so public with their affection, which made everything much harder for the Slytherin girl that day. 

James was a popular boy, too. Head Boy and Quidditch Captain for the house team. Whenever his lips weren't attached to Lily's, he was getting hugs and congratulations from most of the school, some of whom Lyra didn't recognize. 

A lot of people had also decided to get him gifts, some that surprised him. He never minded though. He also got several ones delivered to his table and new owls seemed to fly towards him every five minutes. 

He got equally excited every time. Like a little kid. Lyra couldn't help but think he was adorable, though she internally cursed herself for thinking so. Her gaze turned sad as she realized he would never share that happiness with her again. 

She tried to hide it, because if anybody would see her mourn their relationship then they would know it was real. These past few months, she had tried so hard to rebuild things the way they were. But she was sure Remus caught her looking their way, to which she briskly turned her head away.

Near the end of the meal, it didn't seem like he could get any more presents. The table and the surrounding area were all swamped, to which James, Lily and the other boys laughed cheerfully. 

But then an unfamiliar owl flew through the air, approaching him once again. Lyra's eyes widened when she recognized the shape of the parcel it carried. She knew it because she had been the one to order it after he had done such a great job with her birthday. 

James looked especially glad to see the gift, though he didn't realize who it was from. But he could recognize the shape of a broomstick from miles away. It quickly became the present he was most excited to unwrap. 

With a closer look, unwrapping it, he could see that it had been the new Cleansweep Six he had been talking about wanting. His parents had denied giving it to him, as he had gotten a new broom the Christmas before his seventeenth.