I Promise.

Tylenol.

Chapter 25
Buck and I both came home from school and everything was decorated. And by everything I mean everything. It was actually really strange, and emotional. Mrs. Winnie decorated half of the apartment in blue and silver decorations and had a menorah on the table. On the other half of the house she had a Christmas tree, clad with various ornaments. She decorated the beams on the ceiling with little indoor Christmas lights. I was surprised she was so welcoming to all the changes.
  "Do you boys like it? I didn't want to go too overboard." She asked us. She looked like she has been working hard. Bucky walked over to her and planted a kiss on her forehead.
  "It looks great, Ma." He said. He went upstairs and did what he always does. Puts on his athletic clothes and goes running. He was soon out the door.
  "You really didn't have to do all of this. I hope you aren't uncomfortable by it." I said. I really appreciated it.
  "Darling, if you aren't uncomfortable by us then we aren't uncomfortable by you. I don't care about your religion, I care more about us being all together for the holiday season." This made me smile. She's always been such a genuinely sweet woman. She's always held a special place in my heart. I grabbed her hand.
  "Thank you. Really, thank you." I said.
  "I know how much this means to you. I don't want you to feel like you've completely lost your mom. You deserve this, Steve. You're a good kid. Now go do your homework." She teased.
  "Yes ma'am!"
  Before I knew it, Bucky was back. He didn't even look like he broke a sweat.
  "How was your run?" I asked.
  "Good." He responded. I found this odd, he never responds to me like this.
  "Are you okay?"
  "Just tense."
Now this was getting under my skin. I honestly have no idea why he was acting like this.
  "Why?" I inquired.
He grabbed his clothes out of his drawer. It took him a couple of seconds to answer my question.
  "Brings back some memories. That's all." Bucky explained. I keep forgetting how much his dad's death impacts him. He and his dad were really close, they'd talk about everything together. It was different for me and my dad. My dad was a really unhappy man. He suffered from PTSD after he came back after a tour from Iran. A couple months later we found him in the bathroom, unresponsive. It killed me and it absolutely destroyed my mom. I wish we could've known how bad it was before. I've really been scared of taking pills ever since. I don't know why, but everytime I take them I'm scared I take to much and I'm going to die or something. It's weird.
  "Earth to Steve!" Bucky exclaimed, snapping his fingers in my face.
  "Sorry! Sorry. Just thinking." I said.
  "Oh, I didn't realize you were capable of doing that." He teased. "I'm going to take my shower. You should probably start your homework before my mom kills you." He was then off to the bathroom. It left me thinking, so of course, I took out my journal.
                      12/04/2001
Today is now part two of the "complaining about the holiday season" chapter. First of all, Winnie decorated the house beautifully. I'm still really shocked. Second of all, Bucky is acting really weird again. I don't want him to backtrack in his progress. I'll kill him if he tries to fight me again. Lastly, I'm really nervous about celebrating with them. I don't want to make a complete fool of myself. I'll probably look so stupid. Plus, his family comes over on the last day of Hanukkah and they all celebrate this. I remember this because he always complains about his grandparents. I can't really complain about mine, since they are dead. I'm now starting to realize everyone in my family is dead. I hope that doesn't mean I'm next. I really am the last Rogers, but then again Bucky is also the last Barnes. I'm kind of nervous to meet his family. It's just his aunt Ida and his grandma Hubbard, but still I don't want them to hate me. We've met one other time, but I was a good bit younger. We also have to pose at best friends still. They have more conservative views, and don't really enjoy homosexuality. It's not going to be hard considering we are best friends, but the lack of contact will be a bit more complicated. I just hope they like me. I also hope they don't shove food down my throat. Everyone seems to do that when they meet me. It's pretty annoying, considering I do eat. My just have a dangerously fast metabolism. This is also the first time they've seen Buck without an arm. This holiday season will be quite the adventure.
I tossed my journal on the nightstand, and flopped my head into my hands. This is oddly stressful. Two holidays will be exhausting. Then we still have New Years after that too. I could die just thinking about it.
  "You alright over there?" Bucky asked. His hair was damp, and all he had on was sweatpants, without the strings tied yet again. I wonder when he'll learn to tie them using one hand, unless he just likes me tying it for him. I ran my fingers through my hair out of stress. My hair is pin straight, so it just flopped over again.
  "I'm just stressed, that's all." I said taking my hands out of my face and turning to look at him. He came over and ruffled my hair.
  "Yeah, I get what you mean." He stated. Looking at his untied strings are really bothering me.
  "Eyes are up here, Rogers." He smugly said. I felt my face heat up.
  "The strings. It's bothering me." I explained.
  "Are they actually annoying you, or do you just want an excuse to touch me?" He jokingly asked.
  "A little bit of both, leaning more towards the annoyed side." I answered.
  "Well then, can you tie them?" I'm not sure how many times I'm going to help one man get his pants on.
  "Well then, can you move forwards so I can tie them?"
  "Wow is that a little sass, Stevie?"
  "Shut up and let me tie the strings, goddammit."
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  "Rogers, if you don't tell your boyfriend to shut the fuck up I'm killing someone." Natasha leaned over and whispered. I had to agree, he was annoying the hell out of me too. He won't stop tapping his pencil against the desk. Tony was shooting him daggers.
  "Why don't you tell him?" I asked her.
  "I'd enjoy living, thanks."
  "He won't kill you."
  "I don't want to take the chance."
  "Trust me, Nat. He's annoying the shit out of me too."
  "Then tell him to stop."
  I'm surprised he hasn't heard us. We've been practically whisper yelling. I turned around in my desk, and looked at him. He was facing down on the desk, watching the pencil as he flicked it back and forth.
  "Buck." I whispered. No response.
  "Bucky." I whispered a little louder. Still, no response.
  "James." I whisper yelled. I snatched the pencil from his hands. I was losing it.
  "I'm so close to breaking your pencil."
  "Oh uh, sorry." His eyes were wide eyed and he was scratching his neck. I handed his pencil back to him.
  "Just please stop tapping, for the love of god." I pleaded. It was driving us all insane. It's hard enough for everyone to concentrate in math, but that was driving us over the edge.
  "Sorry." He grabbed his pencil from out of my hand. Instead, he opted for bouncing his leg up and down. That also was annoying the hell out of me, but I'm not going to bring it up again. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him looking down again. He was tuning everything out again.
  "What the hell is his problem?" Natasha asked.
  "To be honest, I have no idea." I responded.
  "Two words. Preliminary hearing." Tony interjected. It all made sense now. I completely forgot that was coming up soon. It's already sixth hour, so I can just talk to him once we both get home. We're carpooling with Sam again. It's been really easy since Sam got a car. Tony would always go out of his way to pick us up and drop us off. Sam lived right by us so it was easy for him.
  This time all three of us turned around to stare at him.
  "You do realize I'm not blind, right? I've seen you guys the whole time." His eyes shot up. Just then, we were saved by the bell. "By the way, I'm also not fucking deaf. Don't confuse me with Clint." He shoulder checked me. Great, he was in one of his moods.
  I was hoping he'd be a bit cooled off after not seeing me for an hour, but I was wrong. He didn't talk to me in the car at all. However, he made it a point to talk to Sam. It pisses me off when he's like this. I've never been happier to see the apartment complex. I jumped out of the car. We live on the first floor, so I was able to fast walk away from Bucky and make it to the apartment first. I really didn't feel like having an argument today. I went up the stairs and tossed my bag onto the floor. My head has been throbbing all day, so I'm really just trying to avoid a fight here. I definitely feel a migraine coming on. Bucky then came up the stairs, tossed his bag and went to the bathroom, gym clothes in hand.
In only the short amount of time Bucky had been in the bathroom, the migraine got worse. I got up and turned off the light. As soon as Bucky got out of the bathroom, he turned the light back on. I don't know if he realized it, but I turned it off for a reason.
  "You can be pissed off at me, but please dear god turn off the light." I said through my hands. I tried to use my hands to block the light from coming through, but it didn't work.
  "I need it to put on my shoes." He snapped.
  "You have a lamp. Please just use it. Please." I pleaded. He complied. He got up, turned off the lights and turned on the lamp.
  "Do you want me to grab your medicine? You look like you need it." He offered. Normally I'd offer to get up and get it myself, but I'm in so much pain I could cry.
  "Yes please." He got up and grabbed it out of my nightstand and handed it to me. He grabbed the water bottle out of his book bag and gave it to me.
  "Here." He outstretched his hand to give it to me. Normally I wouldn't drink after someone else, but since it's Bucky I'll make an acception. I took a sip of the water.
  "Thanks." I said.
  "Would you be fine while I go run?" He asked. I said yes, but I really wanted to say no. As soon as I said it he was out the door and I was left alone. I was in so much pain I couldn't even sleep. I wanted to maybe get a nap in or something but the pain was too unbearable. I have a sickening feeling that I'm not going to sleep very well tonight. After about 20 minutes Bucky came back home. I had my hand over eyes. Even the sunlight was bothering me. It was so sunny that it  even coming through the closed blinds.
  "You feeling better?" He asked. He took the bottle of the nightstand and started drinking some of it.
  "Not at all. I feel like shit." I answered.
  "Do you want some pain medicine? Like Tylenol or something." He asked me.
  "No!" I practically screamed. When we found my dad we found a whole bottle of acetaminophen gone. I've never talked about my dad's death before. I always have shrugged it off when someone asked. Bucky stared at me wide eyed.
  "Jeez, someone hates Tylenol." He snorted.
  "My dad overdosed on it." I said, flatly.
  "Oh."
It was silent for a good couple of minutes. The silence was deafening. I hated it.
  "You've never told me that." Bucky announced.
  "Told you what?" I responded. He sighed and rubbed his temples with his hand.
  "How your dad died, Steve."
  "I mean, I did say it was spontaneous."
  "That's not funny, Steve."
  "I didn't plan on it to be." The energy around us was tense. He grabbed his clothes and went go shower. All the days blend into each other. Everything always feels the same. I'm sick, Bucky runs, Bucky showers, homework, eat, I shower, sleep. I don't want to keep doing the same routine. It's driving me insane. The water stopped running in the shower, so I knocked on the bathroom door.
  "Yes?" Bucky asked. He sounded confused.
  "Can I come in?"
  "I mean, yeah. Sure." He answered. I walked in and sat on the countertop. It's a double vanity, so I was able to fit.
  "Is everything okay?" He said. He was drying his hair off with a towel.
  "Do you wash your hair everyday?" I asked.
  "Yeah. Do you not?"
  "No. Washing it everyday dries out your hair!" I exclaimed.
  "You've felt my hair before. It's definitely not dry." He laughed.
  "That's true."
  "Now that was cute and all, but why did you actually come in here?" He queried.
  "I just wanted to say sorry. I was being a complete ass." I admitted.
  "I'm sorry, too. I wasn't exactly being the nicest either." He apologized. "Now can we get out of the bathroom, it's really hot in here." I laughed at that.
  "Probably because you're in here." I teased.
  "Oh Stevie, you're too kind!" He said, yanking me off the countertop. Our lips interlocked, and we soon left the bathroom.
  "Well, we haven't done this in a while, huh." I joked.
  "Last week, Steve." He winked.
Now this is the variety I wanted.
  He's warm. His whole body is so warm compared to my cold one. I could get used to this. We then pulled away. My asthma probably can't handle another minute of this.
  "My mom just pulled into the driveway." He said, probably meaning that we should stop.
  "And?" I smirked at him. We definitely were going to be at this all night.