THE LAW OF LOVING YOU °[KathNiel] ✓COMPLETE

23. Paper

Five

As I promised to Lyra, I begin doing arrangements for the wedding planning. But of course, I first prioritize getting all our requirements: our birth certificates and some other personal documents. While Lyra starts looking for wedding planners, personal namang inasikaso ko ang pagkuha sa mga kakailanganin naming papers. Besides, the company is very stable now and it won't cost millions if I take a break for a short while. Most importantly, it's for the wedding.

"Five anak?" Kumatok pa si mom sa nakabukas namang pinto. "So magpapakasal ka na nga?"

"You are right mom." I tell her as I sit on the edge of the nightstand. "I'm not getting any younger. Ikaw na din ang nagsabi, I already found the woman I should marry."

"Hey sweetheart, let me also remind you that you shouldn't be doing this because I said all those things. Magpakasal ka dahil gusto mo, dahil mahal mo."

"Of course mom." I stare blankly at the wall for a few seconds. "If this isn't love, I don't know what this is."

Napatitig si mommy sa'kin ng matagal at mayamaya pa ay binigyan niya ako ng makahulugang tingin. "You are not ready for marriage, son. That is what I am seeing in your eyes right now. You know that I can look into your heart and confirm that I am seeing it all right. But no, I won't because it's unnecessary."

"Mom——"

"You are still lost. There's still a missing piece in there, Five. Alam mo 'yan."

Napasinghap ako't humugot ng malalim na hininga. Tumayo ako paharap sa nakabukas na bintana. "I am happy with her."

It's the truth. Lyra calms me down. She brings out the best in me. I could even see that I am slowly becoming better because of her.

"But?"

Nilingon ko si mommy na naghihintay na dugtungan ko ang pangungusap na binitiwan ko. "I was so much happier when I was with her."

"Why didn't you look for her, son?"

"What for mom?" Tanong ko sabay ngisi ng mapakla. "She wanted to leave. She did not want to be found. Besides..."  I smirk as I recall the past that left a hellhole in my heart. "She was like a dream. She wasn't real. Everything was just a lie."

"It's been years, anak. Let that hole she left inside you be healed. Alam mo kung bakit hindi ka kasing saya ng dati ngayong kasama mo si Lyra? Five..." Kinuha ni mommy nag kamay ko. "Kailangan mong magpatawad anak. Forgive her. Forgive yourself."

"I'll try." I whisper after giving her the realest smile I can muster. I don't want to recall that past. I know I've done wrong. I know that I could have done better. But after everything that she did too, there is nothing for me to regret. That's how it's supposed to be.

"I don't want Lyra to think or feel that I am only using her to fill the void that Siri left in me because it's not what happened mom. When I proposed to her months ago..." Umupo ako sa kama, napatitig sa labas. "I was sure mom. I was sure that I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her."

"Was." Mom emphasizes.

"But I realized a lot of things at Seven's wedding."

"Oh God." Mom exclaims, anxiousness written all over her face. She draws closer. This time, she takes both of my hands and squeezes them to calm me. "You will break her heart, honey."

"I will marry her, mom."

"But——"

"Because this is the right thing to do." I cut her off before she could formulate a sentence. "The last thing I'd want to happen is hurt her."