Calum had lost himself completely over the last few weeks. He had a lack of sleep, he got skinnier and he even started smoking. Lucy said it was making you calm, and since Calum didn't know what to do and he was so in love and stressed out he just tried a cigarette. He kinda got addicted to it straight away. That's where it went all down hill from there...
Everytime he tried hiding the cigarettes from his band mates. He didn't want anyone knowing he was smoking except for Lucy. He felt so comfortable around her. He could tell her anything and she would always listen.
• Febuary 18 2016 LA
Calum was currently just scrolling trough instagram when something caught his eye. It was a post from @/celebweb
@/celebweb "Is it true? Calum is dating a fan?"
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Calum rolled his eyes. Did they really took a picture of them. He clicked on the comments and saw that there were over a million comments. Most of them couldn't believe he was dating a fan. It's my choice is all that Calum was thinking.
He then got so annoyed he decided to post pictures on instagram.
@/calumhood "Since the media is blowing up.."
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Tagged: @/lucydavalley
Calum's phone immidiately blew up with comments after he had posted the two pictures.
@/Ar.xc -i wanna hold your hand too, they look so warm lol
@/5saucemikcrowave -@/lucydavalley i'm about to steal yo man :,)
@/yana.xx -gross
@/daisy.lou -omg she is so small! @/calumhood -she actually is >.<
@/lukesaesthetic -i stan a cute couple :)
He decided he wouldn't be reading all comments and just let it be for a while. He decided to take a bath since they would be leaving for tour tonight. Since had a low self-esteem, he wasn't really feeling it yet. He didn't know some of the fans actually loved him. He thought the complete oppisite of that. That's why he didn't really looked forward to play infront of people who didn't want him there.
He looked at himself in the bath water which reflected him. He looked at the bangs under his eyes and how pale he had become.
"Idiot" He spoke sternly and held his hands trough the water so the reflection wasn't clear anymore. He took off his clothes and sat down in the bath tub.
He took out his pack of cigarettes out of the pockets of his ripped jeans. He also grabbed his zippo lighter out of his pocket.
His grand father once gave it to him and he kept it safe with him. It was and old grey and rusty zippo with the word 'return' written on it with a messy hand writting. To other people it was an ugly zippo but to him it was beautiful.
He took out a cigarette and lit it before taking a drag and exhaling a cloud of smoke. His body relaxed again when he layed down in the bath tub. He slowly closed his eyes and driffted off a little.
"Is that a cigarette!??"
Calum heard from beside him and almost had a heart attack. His heart was pumping out off his chest and he quickly sat up.
He saw Ashton standing in the opening off his bathroom door.
"What the actual fuck Ashton! What- how do you get in everytime!" Calum yelled as he adjusted his position and closed his curtains a bit knowing he was completely nude.
"When did you start smoking?!" Ashton asked as he got closer.
"I have a better question! How the fuck did you get in here!? Huh!?" Calum asked and took another drag.
"That doesn't matter right now, when did you start smoking Cal?" Ashton asked again.
"How did you get in here Ashton?" Calum said sassy back.
"I'll answer your question after you answer mine" Ashton said as he sat down on one of the cupboards.
"I won't tell you anything" Calum said as he moved trough the water.
Ashton became red and angry. Calum knew this since Ashton always made a specific face when he was getting angry. Calum smirked and leaned his arm and head on the edge of the bath tub.
"Okay then.." Ashton said and his face expression changed to calm immidiately. Calum knowing him, he had something up his sleeve.
"..what are you gonna do Ash?" Calum asked curiously as he furrowed his eyebrows.
Ashton then smiled and walked over to the bathroom door and locked it. "You know i can just get out of this bath and go to the door" Calum said. "Naked?" Ashton said. Fuck Calum thought. He was right, he forgot to bring his clothes in here. Calum groaned and threw his cigarette in a little trash can nearby him. "I swear to god I'm gonna put another lock on my door" Calum said before face palming himself.
"Now, where were we?..I'll answer your question after you answer mine" Ashton said. "We both know that's not fair" Calum said and sighed. "I don't care, you won't last it in here anyway" Ashton said smirking.
Calum turned himself around so that he was facing the wall. "I hate you.." Calum breathed out softly. Ashton felt kinda bad doing this but it was the only way he would open up to him.
"We both know that's not true Cal" Ashton said and sat back on the cupboard again.
Calum sighed "see, this is exactly what I mean.." Calum said and curled up in a ball. "What do you mean?" Ashton asked. "You're always right, you always can do anything better than me, you have people looking up to you, but most importantly...." Calum spoke more queite by the second. "..people love you"
In that moment Ashton felt a pain fill his heart. "Calum..we both know that that's not true" Ashton said.
"The fans love you so mu-"
"No" Calum cut Ashton off "they don't care about me, they always ignore me, they don't wanna talk to me..it's always Luke, Michael and you" Calum said and turned his head to the side.
"Don't compare yourself to others..it's not healthy Calum" Ashton said with a look of sadness.
"I do not compare, I tell the truth...and the truth hurts sometimes...or should i say..always" Calum said sternly.
"You are amazing Cal, you only see the negative in yourself" Ashton said.
Calum felt tears forming in his eyes. "Where is the happy smiley Calum? A smile looked gorgeous on you" Ashton said. It was then silent for a while.
