pen & paper | NCT Doyoung

22

for the past few weeks eunseo and doyoung have been texting non-stop but for this particular day doyoung told eunseo that he'd be a little busy so he might take longer to reply. all three of them are at doyoung's apartment focused on editing their final paper which will be due in 3 days. doyoung made sure to double check everything. the names,facts,statistics,typos,everything. he didn't want to mess up this paper and he felt like he was given a fragile package that had to be taken care of very well because eunseo is their subject. eunseo the woman he looked up to and the woman he now admits that he fell inlove with but has yet to tell her.

i love you. it was only 3 words but he couldn't find the courage to tell her. he confessed already why couldn't he just say it?he keeps questioning himself but he knows the answer. it's the fear of getting the confirmation that she really might not love him back and him saying it right now might make her realize that she really doesn't want him now or ever.

it was hard to read her. when they talk they talk about family,news,her art,his studies but they almost never talk about them as in their relationship. it was okay,it was comfortable and eunseo felt safe opening up to doyoung.

"was it hard to go back and forth between them?" eunseo asked doyoung through the phone. it was now 2:37am. doyoung was exhausted from making the paper but eunseo had told him that she can't sleep so he decided to accompany her through a phone call until she can finally sleep.

"yeah,i got used to it after a few months. to be honest i just didn't say it but i felt like it was selfish of them to get a divorce just like that like they aren't responsible for 2 other lives. me and my sister weren't given a normal happy family life just because they couldn't agree on some things." doyoung ranted and eunseo listened attentively.

"i'm sorry you had to go through that,but you and your sister turned out to be really good kids. i thought you would have a teen rebellion phase or something." she said.

"i couldn't,it wasn't for me i didn't like the smell of smoke or the highschool party scene. i was always at home but at the time i was confused as to where my real home was since we live in 2 different cities at the same time."

"home doesn't have to be just a place doyoungie." she said.

"i guess not." he said but he really to say that she felt like his home now. he felt safe with her,like every secret he told her was so top secret she locked it in a vault and threw the key away,and that she treated his feelings like a fragile piece of art. he was valid and he was important,that's how she made him feel.

"doyoungie,please go to sleep." she said. "you're tired."

"no i'm not tired."

"let's hang up,i'll force myself to sleep."

"liar." he said. "you can't force yourself to sleep i know that by now."

he's right. there is one thing that can make eunseo fall asleep really fast. she couldnmt help it. when someone plays with her hair it's like she's put in a coma but doyoung has yet to discover this. if he knew he'd rush over to her.

"okay fine you caught me,but i'm worried about you,you need to rest." she said.

"gwenchana,as long as i'm talking to you i don't feel tired." doyoung said.

they continued talking about anything and everything. after another hour doyoung could hear soft snores coming from the other line. he hung up and went to sleep too.

——————
just a random chapter so that the coming events won't be such a big time skip