Hero Fiennes Tiffin IMAGINES

"What are you doing, (Y/N)? Looking at the stars?"

*WARNING: MATURE CONTENT*

My ears muffle out the noise of crickets chirping in the background and the low roar of cars racing down the interstate miles away. As I lay on my back, looking up at the darkened sky, I feel relief. I would've never imagined my life to be as chaotic as this past week has been. Between work, school and my family, I don't know how I am supposed to have a future or what I want to do with that said future.

When I got home tonight that I felt everything hit me at once. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. What's the point of doing all of this if I have no destination in mind? If I have no purpose, then why am I even alive? What if I do have a purpose but I never accomplish it? More so, am I going to spend the rest of my life in fear of never being good enough?

Before I knew it I found myself running out of my small apartment and to the one place I've always felt safe at.

Outside of the city limits, there's a small open field. Hero and I have always came here to escape our minds since I met him a couple years ago. I don't really get to see him anymore though because his modeling career has picked up. From what I've seen on his media, he's also been casted on an upcoming movie that's made him pretty well known. I'm happy for him, honestly, but I do miss him. I miss being able to run away from my problems and forget them completely as I'd fall asleep in his arms.

Back then I always felt like I had a future. I never questioned anything. I always just knew things would work out.

When he left and never came back, I realized this is the real world and I had to find a realistic way to make money. I let my childhood dreams fizzle out and now nothing compares to the passion I had for them.

He's reached out to me a couple times, but I've always resisted the urge to reply to him. He's living his best life, and I will not be the reason misses any kind of opportunity. A small part of me knows that the real reason I'm afraid to speak to him again lies within the idea that I can't be seen with him anymore. I'm not someone that's model status. I have cellulite in a majority of places on my body and my skin is never flawless. Hero is beautiful. He's the definition of a goddess. I found myself falling in love with him the night before he left and that's when I came to the conclusion that he deserves someone as equally as beautiful. When he tried to kiss me, I knew our relationship would be over before it even had a chance to start.

I couldn't ruin him. My average entirety couldn't compete with him and the girls he'd been surrounded by everyday. Everyone in the media has their own ideas about who he should be dating and who they want him to be with. None of those include me.

A couple of days ago I saw the speculation of him being with his costar, Josephine. She is definitely beautiful enough to hate, or should I say limit my own self confidence. What's sad is I'm not sure if she likes him the way the gossip magazines and social media post indicate. How does Hero feel? Does he like her back? Does he want to be with her? Or is he actually with her? She is pretty, and perfect, why wouldn't he? She's an equal in the goddess category.

My phone starts vibrating from the back pocket of my jeans. I contemplate reaching for it or letting whoever it is go to my voicemail. As the vibrations continue I roll onto my stomach and pull out the slick device.

It's an unknown number. I click lock and throw my phone onto the grass. I can feel the dampness of the night air already starting to set in.

I lay my head on my arms and sigh. I just need five minutes of sanity and I'll be okay.
Five minutes, that's it.

I can see brightness out of the corner of my eye, noticing my phone screen is lit up again. I grab it and roll onto my back again. It's the same unknown number as before. I swipe to answer it, but i'm too late. The screen goes black.