Last To Know Chapter 21

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Chapter 21-

James stared at her with gleaming and terrorized eyes. Gleaming... for he knew she loved him; terrorized.... for he knew it wasn't enough.

She took a deep breath.

"I've got to go."

She stood from the bed, still in her tank and shorts, and left the room quietly. James said nothing, but the eerie silence proved exactly what had happened. He wanted to run down the stairs and scream at her. He wanted to tell her how much she was wrong not to choose him, and how much she meant to him.

He wanted to tell her...

That it was okay.

But it wasn't okay. He did nothing, except stare at his empty hands and see her flee the room from his peripheral view.

He would tell her a lie. It was the only thing he could do to give her back. If he told her that he no longer loved her, she would leave. She'd have no choice. Why stay with someone who shares no love for you?

He got up slowly and walked down the stairs, knowing she would be out on the porch. She wouldn't just leave suddenly. As expected, she was sitting there in tears.

"I want to tell you the truth." He said, almost crying. He would have let the tears fall, but that would have made Jill see the lie. He did love her. "I don't... want you to stay."

"You don't?"

"No. There's..." James cleared his throat for what could be the hardest lie he'd ever told, or ever would tell. He knew she wouldn't just believe anything. If anything, anything at all, Jill was practical. He had to make this seem real. "There's someone else."

"You couldn't have told me this yesterday? You said you loved me. You said-" Jill's eyes, brimmed with red, became pained as she spoke.

"I lied." I said quietly, crying now.

"Then why..."

"I thought I'd try to give you a fair chance to make your decision. It was fair, wouldn't you say?"

"I guess." Jill said. "Things are changing. I'm changed." She paused. Still crying, she started inside the house. "I'll be gone by next week."

Jill carried herself with pride at work. James was no longer seen in her office. She was alone as much as possible during the day, and that was how she liked it. She sighed as she filed her stack of papers in the drawer. If only she was happy with her choice.

She was, wasn't she? Would seeing Aaron make all the difference? She hoped it would. Her hope was really the only thing that would save her now. That made for a very insecure future, because she had little hope right now.

Jill heard her coworkers talking about her marriage's sudden separation. She didn't care at this point. She made it a point to make that noticeable. She walked with her shoulders squared and said nothing about it to her friends. Something like this... well, it didn't need to be shared with anyone. It was, after all, between her and James only.

So the days went by; slowly but surely, she was true to her word. On the day before she was supposed to leave, she had a friend bring a moving truck over. Her new apartment was just a few miles inside the city, and she almost felt elated to be living there... almost.

She would be alone for another week, when Aaron was due to be out of jail. Another week wouldn't be so bad... she could make it a point to go out somewhere, maybe with a friend....

She helped unload the boxes and carry them inside. The movers were trying to speed everything up of course; you know how those things are. The last of the boxes were inside and her friend, Marcy, smiled at her.

"I admire you."

Jill stared at her blankly. "You what?" After everything she'd been through in her life... why and how could someone admire her?

"I admire you. You're strong, Jill. I've never met someone who could accept everything, when life's throwing things left and right. You take it with such grace. I want to know your secret." Marcy smiled ruefully.

Only then did Jill realize how much strength she had shown. She could've left them both, let Aaron kill James... anything. But she'd chosen this path.

"Why don't you come in, so we can talk?"

"Sure thing." Marcy strode beside Jill as they went into the mostly empty apartment.

"I haven't... confided anything... to you, or anyone, actually. At least, not in a long time. I don't know why." Jill began. She thought that maybe she could have more hope... if there was someone hoping with her. Marcy, one of her closest friends, seemed like the perfect one to trust.

So she told Marcy her story, crying at the right parts, trying to make her life that much more believable.

After all, if it weren't for Aaron's letter... would anyone believe this story? She could hardly believe it herself as she spoke. She wondered if that was what Aaron had felt while writing about it.

James sat in his den, watching football: A normal thing for him. But without Jill bustling around in the kitchen, he seemed out of place.

He tried to think of other things, tried to push her out of his mind, but everything led back to her.

He gave up, and after a few minutes, he was asleep, dreaming about her.

*Dream* (James' POV)

I awoke to a smell like no other. Still in my night clothes, but with a coffee in hand, I wandered outside to see where the smell was coming from. It smelled like... rotting flesh. Was someone dead?

A very tangible emotion filled me.

Worry.... No... Regret. My dazed dreaming mind couldn't supply the exact word for this feeling. Regardless, I felt this overwhelming suffering pain and trying to outlive it, I buried my face in my hands, as if I knew who (or what) I was going to find.

I walked out into the street. It was the dead of night, and there were no people in the street as there usually was. Except one.

On the road was a body. The long hair on the back of the neck, the small build, the clothes.... They reminded me of...

"JILL!" I screamed.

I ran to her... throwing my arms around her stiff body, pulling her up. I knew this was considered 'tampering with evidence', but I didn't care.

But, when I turned her over, it was no longer her.

Dakota's open and bloodshot eyes stared at me, practically screaming. I stared back for a moment, but suddenly I was seeing me from another body.

I was Aaron now, and a knife was in my hand. Jill was by my side, and I smiled and looked down at the suddenly bloody and scary looking thing in my hand.

The knife itself was enough to shock me awake.

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