Last To Know Chapter 16

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Chapter 16-

I could distinctly hear Jill behind her office door. "You know what? I love you, but you're pissing me off."

That automatically stopped me from opening the door, so I waited, feeling a wave of sadness and despair overwhelm me. Loved who?

"I love you." Came the voice, a terrible voice to my ears. A male voice, a guy's voice, someone she loved...

A tear streamed down my hot cheek as I listened.

"I know. But I have... or had a boyfriend. And... you and I work together. I have to tell him."

"No." The man said abruptly. It seemed he was clenching his teeth. Jill's voice came out sounding pained when she answered.

"Why the hell not?" She choked out.

"I've told you why." He said, still fighting his anger, I guessed.

I waited a few more seconds. By this point though, my heart was crushed so badly, my head ached, and my knees were buckling so much that I didn't know if I was hearing right.

It was Jill who spoke.

"That's not a reason."

"Yes, it is."

What reason? What was going on? I had a feeling he was evil. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't point it out. I finally gave up, and sat on the floor, still trying to make sense of this.

The one thing I'd suspected, the one thing I never thought would happen, had happened. And that wasn't the worst of it.

As I thought about the pain this man had caused me, the agony of this Valentine's Day, anger flooded through me. I knew that if I didn't walk out of the building right now, I would do something I'd regret.

And, as you'll see, it was Jill who saved me from doing something worse than what I did.

All I wanted, in that single moment, was for him to die. For him to suffer through the same torment as me would fill me with joy.

So, planning it out in my head, I got up and crashed through the door, screaming.

"You... did this to me?" I screamed at Jill. "No. YOU: you did this to me." I jabbed my finger at the man in the room. I finally took the notice to study his features. "Brian?" I screamed.

It was he same one from the movies; the man who ran a company. Jill's company, more importantly. James L.

"I'm not Brian. I'm James." He said, seemingly confused.

"You're James." I said. And now I understood.

I punched him in the face. And that wasn't all he was getting either. I just had a few words to say to my lost love.

"I cannot believe that you..." I said, crying now, wailing actually. "You... did this to me."

"I didn't do it by choice." She said quietly, as if she knew she was wrong.

"You have a choice. We all have choices. And you chose... you chose to see him... behind my back. You chose to lie." I spit the words at her. "You chose to do this. I'd rather you have killed me, Jill."

She flinched at my words, and a tear came down the side of her face. "You don't understand. He was-"

"He was your prom date. He was your first love. He loves you." I said, mocking her now. "He's nothing to me, and now you're nothing to me."

I turned to finish what I had started with James. "This is it." I said, almost smiling as I was about to kill the man who stole Jill from me.

"I can explain everything." Jill said from behind me. "I had to do this. But I didn't have to fall in love." I wasn't registering her words, but if I had, I would have taken her back right then.

She continued with her story, and then I pulled out my pocket knife. Poor James, he was helpless right now beneath me. His eye was bloody where my ring had cut him. He was lying in the floor in front of the desk.

Jill screamed at me.

"You can't do that!"

"Why not? I was only going to propose to you today. It was only supposed to be the best day of both of our lives. I was only going to make it final. So why not? Why not just mess my life up more by killing him? Just because you love him." I spat. The words tasted bad coming out of my mouth, as I was never a violent person.

"No that's not it." Jill paused. I wasn't looking at her, but knew she was in pain. Despite my anger, I couldn't find myself to hate her. I couldn't see it in myself to tell her I hated her. "You said it yourself. We all have choices."

I paused with the pocket knife in my hand, and finally turned slightly so I could look at her. She continued. "You said it. And you can make a choice. You don't have to be with me." He eyes turned more and more pained with every word, but she didn't stop herself. I still respect her today for this. "Just get up and walk out. Forget about me. Move back to North Carolina. Find a new girl. A new start. Choose right." She said.

And in that minute, I still loved her with all my heart.

So I stopped myself from killing James.

But I didn't... couldn't... stop myself from what I did next. I walked out of the room without a backward glance. I had to talk to Jill's brother. And that... that's where I went wrong.

I stomped out to my car, growling in fury and pain. I got in my car and headed to Dakota's place. He lived in an apartment on the east side of town; a good long drive from Jill's work.

As I drove, I could think of nothing but the lost words between Jill and I. 'He was-' And I'd cut her off in anger. If she would have finished that sentence, what would make the difference?

Would I really have cared if she said something meaningful? If her words could heal this hurt... if only. It was, by far, the worst day of my life, and I was never going to forget it.

The words kept playing back. 'A new girl. A new start. Choose right.' she had said. Choose right. Could I do that? I hoped I had by sparing James' life.

And so, to choose correctly, I was going to vent. I was going to let out my anger and despair to her brother. Dakota, one of my closest friends here in boulder, could help ease the pain.

I pulled into the driveway, trying to keep a straight face. I hopped out of the car and walked up to the door, preparing myself. "Hey man!" Dakota said cheerfully when he opened the door. "Come in!"

I said nothing, just stepped into his living room.

It was silent for a few minutes; the sound of the TV and dishwasher were the only sounds I heard.

"I want to talk to you about something." I said.

And I told him the entire story, just like I told you James. He nodded at the right places and finally, when it was all over, he began to cry. Then he told me something, and it made me regret telling him my story.

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