The Sacred Rule of Love - (PUBLISHED 2019)

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

            They say when girls go through a break up, most end up trying to find ways on how to make themselves “better” than how they were during the relationship. Some for confidence, para makakilala ng ibang tao, and others to convince themselves that they’re okay—which probably, they will be.

            I guess I am not like most girls. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kakalimutan ito. Instead of trying to build myself up for the better, I only thought of how sad I was and how there will never be someone like Alex. Partially that’s the truth. It’s not everyday you get to meet and fall in love with your guardian angel. Heck, it’s the first I’ve heard of it.

            “Ano ka ba, kumain ka naman na…” narinig ko na sinabi ni Trixie nung nasa labas kami during our free period, “You look horrible.”

            Tinulak ko naman yung pinggan na inaabot sa akin ni Trixie kanina pa, “Ayaw ko, wala akong gana.”

            “Zoe, oh my God, seriously! Eat something!” pilit pa rin niya sa akin, “Ano ba talagang dahilan at nag-break kayo bigla ha?”

            I was extremely dazed that time. Hindi ko man nakikita si Alex nun, ang masakit nun eh alam kong nandiyan lang siya. The sad part about this story is that I won’t be able to shake him off. Mas tragic pa siya sa everyday love story ng mga tao. At least most have the option to not see each other—to move on and live their life. But with me, I have to live knowing he’s there and he has to live protecting me. That he’s just here following me.

            “Trix,” sinabi ko na lang without looking at her, “P-paano kung may nagsasabi na bawal maging kayo? Na hindi pwede?” I asked her rhetorically.

            “What? Ayaw ba sa iyo ng parents ni Alex? Hindi boto sa iyo?” She asked me, “Wait, hindi ba si Professor V yung adopted father niya? Ayaw ba sa iyo ni Professor V?

            Hindi ko naman sinagot yung tanong niya. Instead, I asked her another rhetorical question, “Paano kung sinabi niya sa iyo na mas bagay ka sa ibang tao?”

            “What an asshole.” Narinig ko na sinabi ni Trixie kaya napatingin ako sa kanya, “No one tells me kanino ako babagay. Ako lang nakakaalam nun no.”

            Nginitian ko na lang si Trixie. Somehow, I really agree with her doon sa sinabi niya. Ako rin alam ko kung anong gusto ko at alam ko kung sino ang babagay sa akin. Hindi ba niya nakikita yun? Bakit kailangan siya ang mag-decide para sa akin? Just because alam niya itong soulmate storyline, I’m supposed to just follow it? Ganun lang?

            Ironically enough nung nag-break kami ni Alex, I started doing a little bit better in school. Siguro dahil na rin sa sinubsob ko yung sarili ko sa pag-uwi at pag-aaral para maging busy ako. Although I was doing  a little bit better, hindi pa rin tapos yung drills namin kaya hindi ko pa rin nababawi yung event kay Trixie. At kahit na may kaunting nagbago for the better, meron din namang hindi nagbago. I was still not in good terms with my dad after nung away namin, at kaaway ko pa rin si Robin—which by the way,  I didn’t mind.

            Kahit anong pagyayaya sa akin nung mga tao para mag-hang out, wala talaga ako sa mood at dumederetso lang ako doon sa bahay. Para akong nanghihina na hindi ko maintindihan. Wala akong interest sa kahit anong bagay. Kumbaga, gusto kong mag-isa na lang ako.

            One of the days na nasa bahay ako at nasa garden namin, may narinig akong nag-doorbell at tumatawag doon sa labas. I wasn’t expecting any visitor, kaya tumayo ako at dumeretso ako doon sa gate namin.