Chapter 7

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In all of the years i have known Joe, we have never had an intimate moment like we just had. It was intimate, right? I wasn't just imagining it because of the whiskey, was i? They way he looked me in the eyes and touched my face, was not something he would ever do. And he was about to say something, but what?

"Trin?" i hear Nick say. I turn to him, seated on the couch next to me.

"What?" I ask, totally spacing out.

"I asked if you were feeling okay, you don't look so good."

I look over at Joe who is seated on the chair with Jenny perched on his lap. They are both just looking at me and i suddenly feel sick to my stomach.

"I'm fine." I say.

"What were you two up to?" Jenny asks, genuinely curious.

I look at Joe who doesn't make eye contact with me, "Just talking and catching up. Game night was too boring so i thought i'd come here." he says.

Just talking and catching up, like old pals, totally not caressing each other's faces or anything i think to myself.

"And drinking?" Nick asks with a smirk.

"Huh?" i ask.

Jenny laughs, "We can smell the alcohol on you guys."

"I was just kinda stressed out over the wedding plans so i made Trin take a drink with me." Joe says.

Jenny runs her hands through his bangs and makes a sad face, "You're stressed about the wedding?"

"Of course, but that's just normal. Don't worry babe." He says and kisses her on the cheek. Tears fill my eyes and i look down. Why does alcohol make me even more emotional?

"Well Jenny can drive you home in your car then, since i brought her here." Nick says to Joe, but i can feel his eyes on me.

"Right, it's pretty late. We should get going." Jenny says.

We all stand up and i hug my arms to myself. Jenny says goodbye and Joe looks at me one last time before waving and they head out the door. It takes me a moment to realize Nick hasn't left the spot he was standing in.

I look at him and he's looking at me with sad eyes, "Whats wrong?" he asks.

I shake my head, afraid to speak. I surely think what happened between Joe and I is way bigger of a deal than it was. We were both drinking and it got carried away, barely. It's not like we kissed or anything. I can't do this anymore. I can't be near him. I can't be alone with him. It's just too hard. All i want is to be with him and i can't and its becoming unbearable.

"Did something happen?" he asks and i shake my head.

He walks over and touches my shoulder. I look up at him and a tear runs down my cheek against my will. Before i can do anything, Nick takes his finger and wipes it before it meets my lips.

"I'm sorry you're upset." He says.

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's the unbearable sadness of wanting to be wanted. Either way, i don't stop myself from taking a step towards him and pressing my lips to his. He freezes for  a moment before opening his mouth and kissing me back. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me against him, making me gasp. He tastes like mint gum and hint of something sweet. I don't feel that familiar fire i get from Joe's touch but i feel something; some sort of adrenaline rush.

We pull apart, our arms still wrapped around each other, breathing hard. I look up at him and he licks his lips, wanting more but i press my face against his chest instead.

"I'm sorry." I mumble against him.

"Don't be sorry." He says, his breathing more steady now.

"I shouldn't have... I just i've been drinking and i'm upset and i..." I say, and feel like i could cry again. I would never want to use Nick like this. He means too much to me.

He grabs my arms gently and pulls me away from him so i look up at him. "Don't be sorry Trin, it's okay."

I sigh and take a seat on the couch, setting my face into my hands. I can't believe i kissed Nick, and i can't believe i enjoyed it. It felt good, being wanted by someone for a change.

He takes a seat next to me and rubs the small of my back without saying a word. I turn to him, my hands still on my face, "You've been sort of avoiding me since you told me you had feelings for me."

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention. I just didn't know how to act around you anymore." he admits.

I can't say that i feel nothing for him, because i know there is something there deep down or i wouldn't have just kissed him. But he deserves someone who will give him their whole heart, and i don't think i could ever do that with Joe in the picture.

"It's okay." I tell him, "I've decided i should distance myself from Joe."

"But you guys are best friends." He says.

"But it's just too hard for me."

He leans back against the backrest of the couch and puts his hands behind his head, getting comfortable.

"But he doesn't know that, and he's going to wonder what's going on."

"All I have to do is distance myself until the wedding and then he will move in with her and be too distracted by her to notice."

"I don't think it will work Trin."

I shrug, "it has to."

Nick and I watch television until we fall asleep on the couch once again. I wake up during the night and we aren't cuddled together. He is on one end of the couch and I on the other. I get up quietly, tip toeing over to the light switch. I'd wake him up so he could go home, but I honestly don't want him to. It's nice having him here. He makes me feel safe, and I'm so comfortable with him.

I grab a blanket off of the back of the chair and place on him before going back to my side of the couch, cuddling up with my oversized sweatshirt, and fall back to sleep easily.

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