the Rain

will we ever find peace?

Alexia's POV.

tired..

So Tired but so Happy and warm. I'm a mother now, I just gave birth to a beautiful twin girls. it's so scary and just amazing and I wanted to enjoy that realization but I couldn't, I can't.

Even though I was in labor my mind kept thinking about what will happen next ? What am I going to do ?

I look at my girls around me and that made me feel a little bit at ease. I looked at Chris and Emilia who were holding the babies with the rest of the girls around them.

"A women in pain is on the other side of the room who is too wants some of the attention" I said but they didn't even look to my side.

Luna stood up and walked up to me with teary eyes.

"Oh honey you did a wonderful job " she said holding my hand.

"Oh yes you did " said lil crossing her arms "but I don't think I can handle childbirth and I'm a girl who had her share of painful tattoos!"

I smiled and looked at Emilia, calm but lost, her eyes were fixed on the small baby between her hands and I'm sure that millions of questions storming in her head. From the corner of the room, I looked at Caterina who I felt from where I'm lying the bad vibe around her.

"Say it out loud Caterina" I said fixing my cover "don't let it chock you"

She looked at me with the look of "don't Push me " and looked back down to the babies. But since I know my sister too well I know she won't hold it back.

"What now?" Finely she asked and I hated how I can't answer her.

She stood up and walked to me.

"Have you ever thought about that?" She asked and for the first time she wasn't angry but she was actually worried and scared.

"Don't you know to what you've brought them into?" She asked wrapping her arms around herself looking so worried "do you think our lives is suitable for weak vulnerable babies?"

I didn't know what to say so I just looked to my hands.

"Can you hold her?" Said Chris handing Emilia the other babe.

"So what ?" Asked Chris standing up "if you're gonna think about it that way then our life isn't suitable even for living it"

She's hurt, I can see it in her eyes.

"Our lives sister will never be suitable for anything" she said coldly " So what ? We shouldn't live it ? Give me your gun and I'll shoot all of us here since our lives isn't suitable for falling in love or getting married or even having babies and making your own family!"

In all our arguments and fights with Christina, we never seen her like this, her words came out cold but hurt. But when I looked at Caterina, this argument is far from being over.

"Dad is in God knows where" said Caterina with a chocked voice "uncle's condition is getting worse by the second, some families taking advantage of dad's absence and testing us with some valuations and both Rafael and Maylo are so busy to do something about it as if they can do something in the first place"

Both are right... And that made me feel even more terrified. I looked at Emilia and she was just like I expected her to be.

Looking to the babies with no knowledge on what's happening around her.

What in hell is in your mind now Em?

And as if they knew what I was thinking about, they all looked at Emilia.

We all wanted to slap her yell at her, anything to get her attention but we never seen her in that kind of state before so we just staid calm. We were like looking to a painting of a mother and her children. Finally a nerse walked in braking the silence.

"Hi" she smiled "I'm sorry but did you choose names for the twins?"

"Yes" I said looking down.

I really hope she would be ok with it.

"Emma" I said checking Emilia's face " Emma  and Loretta "

Emilia's head shoot straight up to me, I couldn't know whether she liked it or not, then she slowly looked back at the babies between her hands and smiled. The nerse looked at me and smiled than she excused herself and left. Luna brushed my hair smiling, they all did, all of them but Cate and Em. We kept silence for almost good ten minutes. No one moved or said anything, only the sound of our breath is filling the room.

"Both of you are right" suddenly announced Emilia in her old manners, cold and dryly.

She stood up and Sisilia helped her placing the babies in their crib. She kissed them both and looked at us with her usual cold eyes.

"Before I was worried just like Caterina is" she said "too many "what if" and "how" with no sign of any answers in my way"

"Luckily I had 10 hours to think about it. And just like someone I knew once said "We didn't choose any of this but, here we are, and we have to live with it" so we are going to live with it" and she looked to Caterina "the babies are born, they are here now, what do you suggest us to do? Panic and hide them forever? If our lives is so horrible, scary and hard and yet it managed to make 7 strong, smart and beautiful women, then I have no fear on the babies, they came out of a lioness after all and they have us around them to watch their back for the last breath we take"

Then she looked to us all. And there she was, the fearless Emilia Razzione, with a plan in mind.

"Alexia will go home with us and Chris will help with the babies" she said and turned around to Liliana "I know no better hunter than you, think of dad as an Serbian pule and hunt him down, I'll give you whatever you need just do it fast.  Luna and Celina will go to the company and take over for the current time, Caterina will head the court while Sisilia and I will take care of streets"

No one talked for 5 minutes, we all stayed quiet as we tried to understand what was clearly an order than a suggestion.

"Why me?" Asked Caterina "why the court?"

"It's pretty obvious!" Scoffed lil covering her mouth " you're a mean bitch and that's what the court needs right now"

"We'll do our best" said Celina holding Luna's hand who I noticed when the word company was mentioned next to her name her face turned white.

"Then that's it " said Sis clapping her hands "let's go"

They all got out and left me and Caterina who still doesn't understand why Em chose her to head the court.

"Don't put too much thoughts on it" I said pushing back my hair "you'll never understand her  so why bother? just for once in your life listen"

She didn't look at me and instead she kept staring at the door. I laid back on the pillow and closed my eyes.

"Will we ever find peace?" I heard her asking.

I wanted to open my eyes again and answer her, but I found nothing in me, no strength nor the answer.

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