Diva (Urban)

Side Effects and Favors

Xavier POV

    "Diva, I love you and all but this is crazy. I don't care how 'handsome' your ex is or whatever. He killed a three year old. And so many other people along with his little 'niggas'."

   "Hey, I know you're mad but chill out. He still once meant something to me. I was just bothered by it. That's all. I don't care." I wasn't sure if I was serious or not.

    Donte or one of his stupid friends killed a little kid. And a bunch of other men that was in that house. I bet cops were decked in and out of that place right now.

    It hurt. It did. But I had to get my heart out of whatever feelings I was catching and focus on Xavier and all my other problems.

    But how many times have I reminded myself of this since Donte and I broke up? How many times had I tried to walk down the road less travelled: forgiving him for all of his wrongs but not taking him back? It was harder than it looked.

    And I absolutely hated how hostile I was towards Xavier every time we discussed where our relationship stood. But I was done with that. I hoped. I thought.

    "Diva...you always wanna push people away. And this us why we're in this situation: cause you can't seem to let me in. How you think that makes me feel?"

    "I'm worried about me though. You think that going through a fucked up breakup is all roses and daisies? I been through a lot, Xavier. I love you and all but sometimes, you don't understand." There, I said it.

    "How dare you? I been through shit too. My ex was beaten by the nigga she was cheating on me with. I have a kid. A kid, just like your old boyfriend. Except he lied about his. I love you and wanna take shit to another level but you're so damn difficult that I only see myself being single right now. You think a relationship is a one-side thing but it's not. And that's what I think."

    My mouth dropped. Xavier, who had been so kind and welcoming to me for the past days just told me off like I was some speck of dust on a jacket. I took a shaky breath, holding back tears and a round of curse words.

    I had a temper like my mother that I could feel rising with every exhale.

    "Listen..."

    "No, you listen. I trust you but sometimes, you gotta trust me too. And respect me because what you just said was bullshit. And know that I care about you and won't let nothing happen to you because you're living under my roof and eating my food."

   He was right... I had to trust that he wasn't going to break my heart. I had to or I would go nowhere.

    I nodded letting a tear fall. I was embarrassed, not wanting him to see me any more vulnerable than he already thought I was.

    Xavier's eyes softened and he stopped clenching his jaw that I noticed he did when he was frustrated or nervous.

   His finger found the tear that was dropping down my cheek and wiped it away. "We'll make it work."

    "I hope so."

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Xavier's POV

    It was after going out and the girls were both taking naps that Diva and I found our bodies entangled with each other's.

    We were both half-clothed. It was the best sensation to feel; her body on my body.

    Love was a funny thing. It drove people crazy. Made them do stupid things. And I didn't want to go all the way there with Diva, sexually. I wanted it to be special and not with two seven year olds in a room down the hall.

    I kissed Diva, firmly on the lips, rubbing the sensitive spot on the side of her neck with my thumb. I was in a daze, euphoria.

    Just then, I felt a buzz. It was coming from Diva. She leaned up and fished her cell phone out of her pocket.

    "Sorry."

    "It's fine." I replied, slightly annoyed. This was the wrong time.

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Diva's POV

    "I need you, baby." It was Donte's punk ass.

    "What do you want?"

    "I need you to head to my house and go to the safe in the basement."

    "The hell? Why would I do that?"

    "Because I need you and shit."

    "I'm hanging up."

    "NO! No, listen, the feds is after my ass and–nigga, what the fuck you mean," Donte's voice sounded far from the phone. "Whatchu MEAN they downstairs?! How they find us?! What the fuck? Damn...shit..."

    He returned the phone.

    "The cops know where you are?" It sounded like a deadpan statement though.

    "Yeah. Never mind. Listen, baby, shits been rough lately and I apologize for hurtin' you. But whatever they said on the news is wacked out."

    "Right." I said, rolling my eyes. I was talking to a criminal.

    "I l-love you." He muttered.

    Every other time Donte said those three words, I became weak at the knees. Creating a soft spot for him. But I was over it. No matter how much he "needed me", I was not going to fall for any of it. He was using me.

    Love wasn't sex or expensive things or clubbing. Those things were a side effect of love.

    Love was respect, trust, and those moments that couldn't be defined no matter what you tried to make of it.

    It didn't matter what came out of Donte's mouth. I was not worried anymore.

    Onto the next.