Something Happened

Chapter 22

"Why do you live with the guys instead of your parents?" I ask from my position next to Damon on the couch. We were watching a movie while the guys were out.

Months had passed, I floated between Damon's house and my own. I saw the school counselor once a week during lunch now. She was kind and listened to me while adding her input on how to go about certain things and how to remove the crushing weight that was more of a hand on my hard that would every so often squeeze to remind me of what I had lost.

Sure, Damon and I talked, quite a bit actually, but the conversation about his family and his home life had always been a taboo subject, but as I thought about all the late nights and whispers that we shared, I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about him.

Damon looks at me form my position against his side and shrugs. "There's not a whole lot to tell. My mom couldn't commit so no one stuck around for long. When Tashya left for college, I was pretty mad. I didn't want her to leave and she never called. Eventually, I got sick of the random guys coming in and out and then me, Ethan, and Jamie decided to buy this place and clean it up."

"We worked at a dealership in the back fixing up cars and motorcycles to save up the money. Jamie didn't get along with his family either and Ethan just wanted to join us. He still talks with his family all the time," Damon adds, to fill up the holes. He rubs a strand of my hair between his thumb and pointer finger with the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders.

We had gotten close, very close. While he often kissed my hand and forehead, we actually kissed after Jared's death. I think he was giving me space, I think I was scared and waiting for him to make the first move.

I think back to what Benny has told me when he finally got his date with the girl he had been crushing on, Jen.

"It's so worth it, waiting and then taking the plunge. It's like when you get to the highest part on a rollercoaster and then it plunges down and your heart races and feels like it will explode. But then, you get off and you're handed your cotton candy or soda and everything feels right like you survived something terrifying and then everything warm and comforting is waiting for you. I think you could have that, with Damon, you just have to take the plunge."

I turn towards Damon and reach up and grab his face, I press my lips against his and shocked, he pulls back slightly before pushing back, working his own with mine.

Once my breath shortens, I pull away. Damon's lips chase mine slightly before he pulls back to look at me. For a minute he just stares.

"I don't want to be just friends, Damon," I tell him. He smiles, flashing his teeth.

"Neither do I," then once again, his lips are against mine and I can't think of anything besides him and me at this moment, together.

***

Hours have woven into days and days have bled into weeks. Jared's death has left a scar on my heart that can never be removed, but it has healed in a way. Of course, it still aches, every day, but it's bearable and I still have good moments and good days and even good weeks.

"Are you ready?" Damon asks. I adjust my gown and smile at him.

"I am so ready," we walk out from beneath the tree that we had been shading ourselves with and find our places in line. One by one my classmates' names get called, my body feels jittery with anticipation when the list hits M.

"Estelle Martin," I force my legs to walk up the stairs and onto the stage in front of the audience. I know my mom is not there, but I scope the audience anyway. Mom doesn't leave the hospital anymore. I haven't seen her in days, and when I do see her, she isn't really there.