Something Happened

Chapter 8

The next morning was horrible. I had spent fifteen minutes glued to the bathroom floor puking my guts out. I wonder if this is my karma for being rude to Jamie. Maybe it's karma for letting Derek touch me. My heart sinks just thinking about it and the black monster in my stomach chews at my intestines.

Going to school was worse than puking at the crack of dawn. People stared and they got too close and I just want to go home. By the time I made it to my locker I knew I should have stayed home today.

"Before you run just hear me out," Derek tells me. His bright blue eyes make me want to gag or cry. Maybe both. I stay frozen to my spot. "It's been going around school that you and Benjamin were hanging around Damon at his house. I just wanted to know if you told them anything about, well, us."

I don't know where the anger had come from but it was there and I could stop it from bubbling up inside of me and exploding from my mouth. "There is and never was an us! It was just you. You and your issues and you took it out on me, what kind of monster does that? I don't care what made you do it all I know is that I want to stop seeing your face and I want you to leave me alone." I say in a loud but brittle voice.

I didn't know that I was causing a scene until I looked over and saw everyone's confused faces staring at me. Then the tears came. They came rushing down my face so fast and they filled up my eyes and made everyone blurry. Even through the blurry mess of tears and people I knew that it was Damon who came jogging up to me. I knew that it was him who pulled me out of the mass of people and to the senior's room where no seniors could be found this early.

We sat in silence for a while. Me on a chair and him on a couch across from it. It was Damon who broke the silence. "What happened? What did he do to you? Did he, I don't know, hit you?"

"I wish it was that simple. Boy hits girl and it all comes out in the end. No, Damon, Derek never hit me," I could tell Damon didn't know what to do. He sat there looking confused and trying to figure out what to say.

"Do you need me to punch him?" He asks me. I look over at him to see that he is being completely serious. I wipe the tears that had fallen into my cheeks.

"No. I want Benny. Bring me Benny, please," Damon nods and walks to the door, then he pauses and looks back at me. "I hope that the girl tells people, in the end, she tells people what the boy did to her. I hope she gets justice," then he leaves, off to find Benny.

Benny walks into the senior room a few minutes later. His face was the perfect picture of concerned. "Stella, are you okay? Jennifer came up to me asking why you were yelling at Derek Pilowski and then Damon came and started talking about how you were in the senior room and needed me."

I thought that the tears had stopped for good but then they start again and Benny's eyes softened and I end up laying my head up his lap on the couch where Damon had previously been. We must have been like that for at least two periods. Him running his fingers through my hair, wanting to ask questions but keeping quiet for my own benefit. This is why I love Benny. Sure he will stick his nose where it doesn't belong or say stupid things sometimes, but he is always there for me when I need him.

My mind drifted back to Damon. In my position I couldn't figure out why everyone hated him. I hadn't known the guy for more than a day or two and he was ready to defend me from the moment he first saw me. He was fiercely defendant of all of his friend, even the new ones.

By the time Benny and I separate seniors started to make an appearance. When Sadie and Jennifer walk in, boyfriends trailing behind them-talking quite loudly- I get up and straighten my clothes and put back on a somewhat friendly and happy expression.

"Estelle! It's been forever!" Sadie tells me in a loud singsong voice. I simply smile at her and agree.

"So, I heard about the whole fiasco with Derek Pilowski. What was that about?" Jennifer asks, clearly searching for answers.

"It was just about something that happened a while ago. Nothing to worry about," I tell her, clearly trying to dodge her questions.

"Well, I didn't even know you guys talked. I heard he has issues, you know, from the accident. Some kind of PTSD or something. That's why he is barely ever in school. He has issues, Estelle, I would be careful if I were you," I thank her for her concern and end the conversation by telling them I have to get to class.

Benny and I are walking down the hallway when he stops and looks at me quizzically. "Derek Pilowski, I saw you with him at Jennifers end of the trimester party. He seemed into you, maybe you seemed into him too. I don't know its kinda fuzzy. Did something happen?"

"It's fuzzy because you were hammered. I mean really, did you drink the whole keg?" I ask him, clearly avoiding his question. I don't want to lie to my best friend. I don't think I will be able to, like I couldn't lie to Jared.

"I just wanted to have some fun!" Benny says chuckling, putting his hands up in a surrender. Thankfully Benny drops it for the rest of the day, however, I don't get too lucky.

"So, you have quite a bit of drama circling your name, Estelle, mind telling us what's up?" Ethan asks during lunch. The guys have decided to join us once again at our lunch table. I squirm a little in my seat as everyone's eyes stare into my own.

"That's all it is. Drama," I tell them. Today's confrontation has shaken me to the core and I just want to forget about it. I can't believe I said those things in front of everyone, in front of Derek, to Derek. Every time I think about his name it makes me want to curl up in a ball and disintegrate, just disappear. I still see his eyes on me when I close my own. I see him in myself, in Jamie, in any guy who tries to talk or touch me. I still feel his hands lay me down and roam my body when I go to bed. I can see him taking my clothes off when too much off my skin is showing. I feel those sheets rub up against my body when I lie in my own. He is everywhere.

I can tell that they don't believe me. Each and every person at this table stares at me. They pick apart my soul, searching for answers that I hope they will never find. Everyone has secrets, but not everyone's secrets should be shared.