Just Jack

Part One: Chapter Eight: Just Change

Chapter Eight

Just Change

     Life changes on a dime. A split second. A breath. All it takes is one mistake, one phone call, one wave, a kiss. We all have to experience change at some point in our lives, whether we want to or not. It becomes part of who we are. We change, we adapt and then we move on. But what happens to the people who can't adapt, who can't move on? They just change.

     One minute you're starving yourself, and the next- you're eating hospital food.

     I turn the last reluctant page of Gabe's book and sigh. It has taken me about a week to finish which, for a person who never reads, is pretty good. I drop the book onto the bedside locker and lean back against my pillow. It must have been annoying- starting a book, getting halfway through it and then croaking it. Kind of ironic how I finish the book just as my time at Saint Clare's comes to an end. I cannot help but smile. I jump out of the bed- no dizzyness, no trousers falling slightly because they are too big, and I almost skip to the bathroom.

     It's really amazing how much difference a steady diet can make. Before, I thought I looked fine, I mean everyone has dark circles under their eyes, everyone's hair and nails can be a little damaged. But after my first trip to the cafeteria, and then about ten more after that, I realized just how bad I actually looked. The mirror in the bathroom used to be there to remind me how fat I was and sometimes how frightfully skinny I was- I still am rather skinny. Now though, the mirror is here to remind me of my progress. Slow and steady progress it may be, but progress all the same. A change is coming.

     I smile to my reflection and then take in the bathroom, it's going to be the last time I ever see it. Then again, that's what I said the last time I was admitted. No- something feel's different this time. I don't know, maybe it's what Emily said to me. She was totally right. I can't let something that I, myself, cannot define, define me. Maybe it's just Emily full stop. The last time I was here girls were the last thing on my mind. I mean, they still had cooties back then! Even before I came here this time around I still never noticed them that much, not as much as Chris did or the other guys in my class. But with Emily, there's just something so inviting about her. Thinking about her makes my heart skip a few beats, the way her eyes glisten, how her hair flows...

     I need to find her. Maybe not to bare my feelings to her but at least to thank her. If she had never of said what she had, I would probably be stuck here for another few weeks. She is the catalyst, speeding up my change. Without her, everything falls apart. I leave the bathroom, for the first time without looking back for a quick glance in the mirror.

     A suitcase at the end of my bed lays open with a few of my clothes thrown into it. I will finish packing later, mom doesn't get here till five. No doubt she is working. Nothing has changed with her. My bed lays un-made. An empty soda can and candy bar wrapper sit on the bedside locker beside Gabe's book.

     I look past it all and walk towards the nurses station. I have no idea where to find Emily, she usually just pops up. Well now its time for me to appear unexpectedly. It's going to be my turn to surprise her. Make her day.

     The nurse, the pretty one, is sitting there. I have to admit, I am going to miss seeing her. She is very beautiful, her uniform only highlights her perfect figure and her hair always resembles Marilyn Monroe's. She reminds me of a housewife from the 60's. I'm also going to miss Amelia, the nurse who had been assigned my case. The nurse who changed everything for me. I must say goodbye to her before I go.