Just Jack

Part Two: Chapter Twenty-Three: Just Closure

Chapter Twenty-Three

Just Closure

     Fight or flight. They're the only really options when it comes down to it. Do you stay, against everything that your mind, your body, is telling you to do, and fight? Or do you simply run? I mean, it's easier to run, right? It's easier to forget and just give up. Fighting for what you want, that's the real challenge. It's ignoring every instinct, everything you know. It's do or die out there. The only question is, are you ready to risk it all and take a chance? Fight, or flight?

     It's something I used to always do as a child. I would be sitting in the backseat of a car, by the window, and I would watch the little white lines on the road zoom by in a blur. I don't know why I found it so fascinating, but I did and it passed the time. I even remember doing it in the car on the night my father died. So here I am, sitting in the backseat of an unfamiliar car, with two sleeping girls besides me, and I'm watching the white lines go by. It's harder to see them though because it's so dark out.

     I knew it wouldn't be long before Mandy, Skylar and Chris would fall asleep. The drive to San Francisco is over 18 hours from Bridge Bay. Dylan, Chris' hockey-playing boyfriend, is taking the driving shift now. He was kind enough to offer us his car if he was allowed come this weekend. I didn't even want it to be a thing, a road trip. I just needed a ride to the city and Chris decided to make a weekend vacation out of it. It went from being just me and him, to being the whole group. Heck, I didn't even want to go on this trip whatsoever but my mom urged me to go.

     “Make it my dying wish,” she had said this morning. “Find Emily, tell her how you really feel, Jack. If you don't, you will regret it your whole life.” She's probably right, which is why I rang Chris and asked him to go with me. I didn't want to leave her, not in her deathbed, not when there's only so many days left with her. But she insisted. I guess, maybe, she didn't want the weight of me not going to find Emily in San Francisco, just because mom was sick, on her shoulders.

     The only sounds are of the low murmur of the radio and of the odd car driving by us. Me and Dylan have barely said two words to each other ever, so it's kind of awkward and I really want one of the girls or Chris to wake up already. And even then, part of me doesn't really want to talk to anyone. This wasn't supposed to be some kind of bonding time. This is me making my meant-to-be happen. This is me, finding Emily and fighting for our love. My love.

     Chris begins to snore and then after a few minutes, he starts muttering in his sleep. “I hate it when he does that,” me and Dylan say in unison, even though we meant to just say it to ourselves. We both laugh awkwardly and then Dylan switches off the radio. I don't know why we haven't talked, I mean, he's never done anything to me to make me not like him and I don't think I've ever done anything to him. So I say to myself that if he does try and strike a conversation with me, I won't be childish about it. He's dating my best friend and they are pretty serious, so I should get to know him. But for now, I just need to be alone with my thoughts, so I reject Dylan's switching-off-the-radio-so-we-can-talk invitation.

     I don't even know what I'm going to do when I find Emily. She has no idea I'm coming to see her. She thinks it's just Chris. At first, it kind of annoyed me that she would text Chris and not me. I know they have their past and they are like soul-friends or whatever, but me and her, we were Jack and Emily. How she could just leave things the way she left them in that hospital room and never contact me again, I don't know. So I assume she won't be delighted to see me. But at least, by tomorrow, I will know for sure. At least then there won't be any but's or maybe's about it. Tomorrow is the ultimatum. If she wants me like I want her, if she loves me like I love her, this is her only chance as well as mine.