Room 138

Chapter 16

It's hard to watch someone you love waste away to nothing. It's hard knowing that the last breath they took could be their last. 

Andy and I have been married for almost 2 months now. The best two months of my life. Although, it hasn't always been easy. It's hard not being able to help him more. Wishing you could take away all the pain, all the sickness, but knowing there is nothing you can really do. 

I hadn't been sleeping much lately. I spend too much of my time making sure Andy is still breathing. All night, while he's resting, I watch his chest rise and fall. If I don't see it move for a second I start flipping out. 

I can't tell you how many times I've woke the others up because I just knew it was over. 

Everyone has been super supportive though. Anything we've needed, they made sure we got. I had to make sure that Andy had everything he needed or wanted. 

These past couple of months were perfect. We spent as much time as we could doing all the things we always wanted to do. We tried our best to stuff a lifetime full of stuff into a short period of time. 

And, I think we did a good job. 

Hospice comes out once a day now. They check and see how he's doing, and have been really good to see how we're doing. 

I've never seen someone care so much about the family as these guys. They've eased my fears about a lot of things, that's for sure. 

Our time is growing shorter with each passing day. He had to give up performing. It was becoming to much for him. 

We all knew it wasn't what he wanted, but it was what had to happen. 

The fans were devastated, but they've been awesome during this entire thing. Honestly though, we didn't expect anything less from them. 

He's been sleeping more lately. Which, we're told is normal. He'll be up for a couple hours, then sleep for a couple hours. 

And the whole time he's sleeping, I'll be right by his side. And that's how I plan on staying. 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Come in." I said.

The door opened, and JInxx walked in the room, tray in hand. 

"I figured you guys might be hungry," He said, turning to look at Andy who had just begun stirring on the bed. 

"Hey baby." I started with a smile "Jinxx brought food." I said, walking over and pressing a kiss to the younger mans lips. "Hungry?" I asked. 

Andy nodded, trying his best to get up. JInxx and I helped him slide up, propping his back against the pillow. 

We placed the tray of food in front of him, and stepped back. His appetite was getting smaller now too. He barely ate anymore. I didn't give him a hard time about it though. He would eat what he wanted, when he wanted. 

After taking a couple bites of the toast, he sat it back down, resting his head against the wall "Okay, I'm done." He said. 

JInxx sighed and nodded as he grabbed the tray. I knew this was killing him too. He knew just as well as we did that it was almost over. 

"How you feeling, bro?" He asked as he sat the tray off to the side, probably hoping I would eat a little sometime soon. 

"As good as I can be I guess." Andy said softly.

Jinxx nodded. "Yeah, I bet..." His voice trailed off for a moment "Matt said he'd be here in a little bit. I told him he could probably just crash here for awhile. 

I nodded. 

Andy closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he slid back down, getting comfortable against the mattress once more. 

I didn't want to admit it, but I knew the end was near. Each day I was surprised he made it through the night. 

The Hospice nurse would be here soon. 

We'd been getting him out of bed everyday, trying to get him some exercise, but the past few days it's been too painful for him. 

His poor legs and ankles were so swollen, there would have been no way he could have moved anyway. 

The nurse told us that was just one of the signs that it was almost over. She said it was caused by the  retention of fluids caused by the failure of his kidneys to eliminate water waste.

"I feel sick." Andy said suddenly and I quickly handed him his bucket, moving to sit beside him on the bed. 

He held the bucket at his mouth, his stomach emptying the little food he'd managed to get down just minutes ago. 

After I was sure he was done, I took the bucket from him and poured it in the toilet, washing it out before heading back to the room. 

"I'm sorry, Ash." He said softly, not wanting to look at me. 

"Hey. you don't have to be sorry for anymore baby." I assured him. 

"I'm so cold." He said, tears streaming down his face. 

I frowned and wiped at his tears before throwing another blanket on the bed. 

Tara, the hospice nurse was here now. She stepped inside the room, patting me on the shoulder before walking toward the bed. 

"Hey, Andy. How we feeling today?" She asked.

Andy shook his head "Terrible." He replied. 

She began examining Andy and I turned when I heard a familiar voice from behind me. 

Matt Good stood in the door, watching the nurse working on Andy. 

Andy opened his eyes slowly, offering a small smile "Matt." He said

Matt smiled, stepping inside and headed toward Andy's bed after giving me a hug. "So, how arr we doing today?" He asked.

Andy shook his head. "I mean, I've been better." 

The nurse offered Matt a smile before motioning for Ashley to come with. 

I nodded "I'll be right back, baby." 

"So, you've told me you wanted honesty from the beginning, right?" She asked..

I nodded "Yeah." 

"Well, I don't think it's going to be much longer Ashley. His body is starting to shut down."