Estella

Chapter 9

"Estella." I get stopped in the hallway.

As I turn around I find exactly who I was expecting to see.

The only other person at this school who talks to me, minus Jacob and Eli.

Parker.

I just turn and continue to walk out of the school.

"Estella." Parker repeats as he catches up to me.

As if I didn't continue walking because I don't want to talk to him.

"Estella." He repeats, apparently not realizing that I am ignoring him.

"What do you want?" I snap as I turn towards him.

I just want to go home and cry.

And get out of this school before Jacob sees me.

"I just want to talk to you." He says, sounding a bit frightened by my tone.

"Everyone stays away from me because they are scared of Jacob, why do you even bother risking it by talking to me?" I ask Parker, walking away.

"Estella-" he starts to say as I see a flash of Jacob as he is leaving the school.

I just pull Parker with me as I hurry to my car.

"Estella, what are-" He starts.

"Just get in." I say, throwing everything in the backseat of my car.

He obeys and gets in the passenger seat.

I drive away as quickly as I can, needing to leave before Jacob sees my car, and especially the occupied passenger seat.

"Okay, I think we are safe now." I say as I park in an empty parking lot, turning my car off.

"Estella, what's going on?" Parker asks me, rightfully confused.

"I didn't want him to see me. Especially not talking to you." I tell him. "But lets go back to my question, why do you keep talking to me, just leave me alone like everyone else. Are you not scared of him hurting you?"

"Estella, I know everyone is scared of him. Of course I don't want him mad at me. But I think it's worth it." He tells me.

"Worth what?" I ask. What is he getting out of this besides Jacob being against him.

"You." He tells me. "I think it's worth helping you." He tells me.

"Well just stop. Stop trying to prove whatever it is you are trying to prove by helping me. Just give it up. I can take care of it myself, with my family." I tell him.

Maybe I couldn't have taken care of this alone, but I am take care of it now, with my family behind me, supporting me through everything.

"Estella, I'm not trying to prove anything. There is nothing to prove. I just want to help." He says.

"I don't need you to help me. I barely even know you. And you sure don't know a thing about me besides the fact that my boyfriend is a controlling and abusive jerk. So just leave me alone, I can get through this without your help." I snap.

Instantly I regret my words.

I know I don't mean what I'm saying.

And I know my true motivation behind my words and actions.

I like Parker.

I think he is one of the nicest people ever and I can tell he really does care.

But I don't need to drag him into my mess that is my life.

He shouldn't have to deal with Jacob, he shouldn't have to deal with my child, and he shouldn't have to deal with the hormonal, mental and emotional wreck that is myself.

I try and hide my tears from him.

"Estella. Look at me right now and tell me you want me to leave and I will be out of your life forever." He says, in a serious tone.

And I can't.

I can't look at him and say that, I can't say that truthfully, and he knows that.

He knows that I don't want him gone, he knows that I want him here.

So I just cry more.

Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"Estella, everything is going to be okay." He tells me. "You won't be trapped with him for much longer." He adds.

The second half may be true, but the first half isn't even close to the truth.

Things are never going to be okay.

He doesn't know about the baby.

Well how would he?

He doesn't know that I'm always going to have this thing trapping me to Jacob.

And the second he finds out I'm pregnant he will be running in the other direction.

He like me.

I know that much.

Why else would be be here with me right now?

Why else would he be talking to me nonstop?

Why else would he be trying to help me so much?

Parker is a good person.

I know that.

But I also know that he would not be balling me to this extent if he didn't like me.

He wants Jacob gone because he wants me.

And I can't say I wouldn't like that too.

But right when he finds out I'm pregnant, he'll be gone.

I know I may be wrong.

He may be completely understanding, he knows that Jacob is a violent and abusive person.

But would he want to deal with someone else's child?

Especially Jacob's?

I doubt that.

I doubt that is a burden he wants to face.

"Parker, things are never going to be okay. Things may get better, but they will never be the same." I tell him.

He's going to assume I'm referring to emoticon scars.

But here I am, referring to the child I'm going to have in a few months.

Assuming I can get past Jacob.

I can't let him kill my child.

I know he's going to try as much as he can.

But I don't care what he wants.

I deserve a say in one thing.

I may have not had a say in the formation of Are relationship, any aspect of this relationship, the formation of this child, anything.

But I am having a say in this one thing.

And I don't care how hard I need to fight.

I am getting my way.

I keep forgetting to update. Oops.

3 days left of senior year(really it's 2 though, because prom day doesn't count because no one is coming).

But prom is Friday, my last day of high school.

I'm really not excited for prom though.