Estella

Chapter 18

I sit in the office with my parents, waiting for the doctor to return with the news.

We decided not to have a gender reveal party, a baby shower is more than enough for me, and I am way too impatient to not find out as soon as I can.

She better get back into this room soon.

I just want to know what I am having, I don't really care, I just want to know.

My breathing gets faster as I see the door knob turn, the door slowly opening as the doctor returns to the room.

I can tell she purposely doesn't say anything for a few seconds, clearing noticing how impatient I am.

"Congratulations, Ms. Allen," She says, taking yet another pause. "you are having," This lady and her dramatic pauses are painful, "a girl." She finally tells me.

A girl.

Imminently, an involuntary smile spreads across my face

In just a few months I am going to have a daughter.

Pretty soon a little girl is going to be running around the house.

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

I am going to have a daughter.

Now we can let the shopping begin.

•

The second we open the door to the house, my little sister is on the other side, begging to her the news, Eli standing not far behind.

"What is it? Tell me now, please." Isabella begs, she has been dying to know what I am having.

We all just stand there in silence for a few seconds.

If the door did this to me, I am going to do it to them.

"Es, just tell us." Eli says.

He would probably not admit it, but I know he is looking forward to me having her.

"It's a girl." I tell them with a smile.

Isabella imminently hugs me, showing her clear excitement.

After she pulls away, Eli hugs me.

I know that Eli and I can argue a lot, but I know that he is always going to support me though everything.

Sometimes I forget we aren't even blood related, despite our clear physical differences, the three of us are so similar and I know that if I ever need anything, my little siblings will always be there for me.

•

Once again, I find myself walking around town with Parker.

I knew once I found out the gender of my child, I had to tell him, I don't have friends anymore, not after Jacob drove them away, so Parker is all I have.

I want to keep him updated, I want him to know what's going on.

And I just wanted to see him again.

"I had a doctor's appointment earlier." I tell him, transitioning the topic of conversation to me.

"How did it go?" He asks me.

I can tell that he doesn't just ask to make conversation. He asks because he cares.

"Really well actually, they told me what I was having." I say, I just want to tell him, I just want him to know.

"And?" He asks me, clearly waiting for the news.

"It's a girl." I tell him.

Just like my siblings, he imminently pulls me into a hug.

"That's exciting." He says after we pull away.

"I know, now I get to go shopping, and buy all these adorable baby things." I add.

Finding out the gender seems to make it all that much more real, being able to not call your child an, 'it' anymore, being able to go shopping and knowing why you need to buy. It is just so exciting.

"Well, I know that you are going to be an amazing mother, Es, you are going to do great." He assures me.

"I know." I say, half joking, I know that I am going to be a god mother. "But my parents are going to help out a lot." I add, my parents are going to do nothing but support me, and luckily they actually know what they are doing.

"Everything is finally getting better." I tell him. "I am actually excited for this, despite the circumstances, But I am happy."

Obviously I would rather have my first child with someone else under different circumstances, but I am still really excited.

"That's good, you really do deserve it, Es." He says, yet again.

"Thanks, for everything." I say to Parker as the sun sets and the sky turns to a mixture of pink and orange.

"What do you mean?" He asks me.

"Thanks for always being here for me, Jacob drove all my friends away years ago, I shut my family out so they didn't know what was happening, I was miserable for so long, but you helped me out of that, so thanks." I tell him

"Es, you know I would always do anything I can to help you, everything I can, to help you." He says.

He is just way to perfect. Maybe my standards are just way to low after Jacob, but I just think Parker is beyond perfection.

He is always here for me, he actually cares, he actually makes me happy.

I am not sure why he puts up with me, but I sure am grateful he does.

I am not sure how I would get through any of this without him by my side, I don't think I could.

Without Parker in my life I would probably be so much more miserable than I am.

I love knowing that someone cares.

"I really appreciate everything you do, Parker." I tell him again, not sure I can ever truly express how thankful I am to have him.

"Of corse, Es, you know that I am always going to be here for you." He tell me.

"I know, and thank you." I tell him, once agin hugging him.

When we pull away all we can do is stare at each other for a few seconds.

"Is it okay, if I kiss you?" He asks me.

"Yes." I respond, very quickly, at that, grateful he asks, it was really thoughtful of him to, knowing all the force and things I went though with Jacob that I never said were okay to do.

And so he does.

I have completely lost interest in this book, but I only have 4 chapters left, so I guess I need to finish it.

But it's almost done!