Yin & Yang

"I even messaged him on Myspace"

Annette P.O.V.

          “So, do you have to like do your business in like a bucket or one of those tube things?”

          “What?!” I screech, gawking at an innocent looking Jenna before I start to howl in laughter. My shoulders shake and my head is thrown back in laughter as Jenna continues to stare at me quizzically. I know she is referring to the fact that I can’t really walk at the moment with my bum leg and ribs that barely tolerate me sitting up.

          “Jenna!” Tanner scolds, exasperated, but she only shrugs her shoulders innocently, a genuinely curious expression on her face. I can see Tanner biting back a smile of his own and when my laughter dies down I throw Jenna a mocking smile.

          “Yes, Jenna. I shit in a bucket, would you mind emptying it for me?” Jenna tosses the pillow she was sitting on at me, hitting me square in the stomach. I let out a groan, the force of her throw catching me off guard. Yes, even a fluffy pillow hurts my abused ribs.

          Jenna smiles in fake apology before going back to the game of spoons that I had lost at long ago. Tanner and Jenna have been practically sleeping here to keep me company and take my mind off of everything. It’s really nice of them and I appreciate the gesture, but I swear all these two do is play cards, make dirty jokes, and avoid any and all conversation of Rob or Adam.

          Adam.

          God, even thinking his name makes my stomach twist uncomfortably and my mind fill with worry. I gave my full statement to the police after the swelling on my tongue died down; I told them about my years of abuse and how all Adam did was return the favor. The two male cops –who reminded me a little too much of the Blues Brothers- informed they were headed to the station right away to file paperwork to have the charges dropped.

          It took a lot of convincing, seeing as how Rob is still in the hospital downtown, nursing the major wounds he received from Adam. But, all Adam has to do now is go in front of a judge and plead his heart out. Thankfully, they let him out of that god awful county jail on bail.

          Rob, on the other hand isn’t so lucky. Cynthia informed me that Rob is facing life in prison with no bail. Not only were my bruises sufficient evidence, but they also contacted a few students, teachers, and neighbors from New York that knew about the abuse, but were too chicken to do anything about it.

          Besides the mass of reporters swarming the hospital, the pitiful looks I get from nurses and doctors, and the guilty looks from my friends and mom I am actually happy that my secret is finally out.

          Somewhere between the first punch to the jaw and the trip down the stairs I had become terrified. Terrified of anyone finding out that I was a coward. That I became someone weak –someone who could be easily brought down to my knees. And I couldn’t even admit it to myself. I put on some façade to make people believe that I was someone who never got hurt, someone who never let anyone hurt her.

          When, in reality, I was a coward. I know that now. I was too much of a coward to admit what was happening to myself, let alone anyone else. I was a coward because I didn’t want to face the repercussions of my life. I didn’t want to face the guilt I knew I would see in everyone.

          Now that everyone knew, now that everything is laid out on the table, I have never felt so alive. It’s like coming up for air after drowning in the sea, like drinking a pitcher of ice cold lemonade on a sweltering summer day in Texas. No more hiding, no more secrets. And I suddenly wish I had told everyone sooner. I wish that I hadn’t spent months pushing everyone away and acting like I didn’t give a shit about anyone or anything.