Yin & Yang

"I felt like I just stepped into a bad teen movie."

A/N: This update is late, I know. And I am not 100% satisfied with it, but it is basically a pre-cahpter to the next one!! The story is picking up!

So, please Tell me what you think and tell me what you want to happen, becuase I'm still npt so sure myslef! Vote, Comment, everything! xx

Annette P.O.V.

            To say that it felt like a woodpecker thought my head was a tree would be an understatement. As my eyes slowly opened and the harsh light of day burned my corneas, I couldn’t help but wince. My throat felt like the Sahara and my head throbbed to a constant rhythm. Every joint in my body had taken its toll from last night’s binge drinking. My tongue felt like sand paper and I tried to alleviate the dryness by salivating, but it was as if even my spit hated me. Even though I was suffering a tremendous hangover, it wasn’t until the memories of last night surfaced in my brain, that I felt the real pain. The deeper more aching pain that had always bubbled beneath the surface.

The party. Dancing with Tanner. Never Have I Ever. Adam admitting my role in Charlie’s death in front of a crowd of drunk teenagers.

I had always known that I was to blame for Charlie’s death. I went to the party on a whim. I made the call. I forced him to take me home. But, no one had come right out and said it until last night. And from Adam of all people. It had never occurred to me that he also blamed me for that night. I knew my mother had, and my friends, and Charlie’s friends. They all made that perfectly clear when they couldn’t even look me in the face and looked at me with underlying hatred and blame. But, even though Adam and I were on the outs, I always thought that he felt differently. That he would always be on my side, like he promised. I was naïve, Adam was obviously bad at keeping his promises when it came to me.

He looked me right in the eyes and said something that I never wanted to hear out loud. That I never wanted to be acknowledged or confronted with. Of course, I didn’t blame him. How could I when it was true? It was just my naivety hoping that someone was still on my side after all of the horrible things I had done. Even Adam, who had hurt me more than anyone else blamed for my brother’s death. All the doubt that it was my fault left my mind. It was my fault, I had always known it, but now it seemed to hit me all at once.

I felt the soul-crushing pain like an anchor on my chest. The hurt I felt in my throat and my head paled in comparison to the anguish I felt in my heart and the pit fall I felt in my stomach. I would always be the girl that killed the golden boy and that guilt and label would haunt me forever.

I sighed and rolled over to block the sun from scorching my eyes, I just wanted to lay here and sleep off the guilt and unrelenting pain. But, as my door creaked open and my mother walked in with a fire in her eyes, I couldn’t help but think that some higher power hated me and had it out to get me.

“You’ve broken one of my rules, Annette.” Cynthia chided, her voice laced with disgust at my haphazard appearance. She was wearing her signature blazer and skirt, dressed to the nines for work. She crossed her arms as she waited for me to retaliate with some witty remark. But, I was too hungover to form a response, so I grunted instead and buried my head underneath my pillow to hopefully block out her nasally voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear! Do you have a little headache from your wild charades last night?!” I couldn’t help but notice how her voice grew a few octaves higher as she said that. I pulled the pillow against my ears some more and moaned in response, her voice like nails on a chalkboard. I was definitely not in the mood to deal with my mother. In fact, I am never in the mood to deal with her overwhelming disapproval and snobiness.

“Listen, Annette. When you found yourself on my doorstep again, I gave you strict guidelines on your behavior while you stay in my house.  You have already broken a multiple of those rules in the first two weeks of your stay. Regardless, I can’t say I’m surprised. You have always been a disappointment compared to your brother... I just hope that you can pull yourself together for the rest of this year. At least under my roof.” Her tone was laced with a bitter disapproval, her words spiteful and full of hate. With those last jarring statements she leaves my room, purposefully slamming the door, the sound amplified times ten.