Yin & Yang

"I've gotten more hickeys than Charlie Sheen"

 Annette P.O.V.

          My father used to tell me that, “There will be times when you feel like your life is in shambles, and it’s only then that you can decide what kind of person you want to be. The person that stays and fights for your happiness or a person that cowers away from fear and bathe herself in the dark. That will be the time when you decide if you are the type of person that does or the type of person that does not. You need to be a doer. You need to fight for your happiness.”

       At first I believed it was utter bullshit, but then I slowly started to notice how different the people in my life handled bad situations. My mom let the ladies in PTA boss her around, Ava alwas did whatever anyone asked her to do, while Charlie always spoke his mind, and Adam never stopped trying to be better at everything he did. 

          Without even realizing it I had slowly transformed into someone that does not. I used to be a doer; I was strong and outspoken, I was a straight A student. But, then I focused more on my boyfriend and less on everything else until I just stopped trying. I ran away from my problems, I didn’t tell anyone about my uncle, and I put on a mask to hide my feelings.

          Somewhere in between then and now I had slowly been going back to being someone that does. I stood up for myself, made friends, tried to move on with my life and leave all of my secrets behind. Everything was how it should have been.

          But, now it’s as if history is repeating itself; the accident, my uncle coming back to town, and me going back to someone who does not.

          And the worst part is that I can tell it’s happening. I can tell that I am slipping back to my former self, but I’m too much of a coward to stand up to him, I don’t want my mother to know what my life was really like, and I don’t want Adam to beat the shit out of Rob, so what do I do? I break his heart. God, the look on his face was that of a child who had just figured out his dog was not sent to live on a farm, and in fact had died.

         I told him that I didn’t love him, that I could never love him again, and I told him not to contact me without even thinking about the fact that I have two classes with him. And now I am forced to sit through said classes as if it isn’t the most awkward thing in the world.

         But, like a pro I put on a mask of indifference and make my way inside the classroom, not even bothering to spare Adam with a second glance. I throw my things on the desk as Mr. Roth begins explaining the assignment for today. I feel Adam’s eyes burning holes into my face, but I promptly ignore him and pretend to listen to the teacher.

          “Good morning Annette.” Adam whispers breezily from next to me and I look at him from the corner of my eye only to see him smiling warmly at me. What the hell? Did I just dream about our argument yesterday?

          “Why are you talking to me?” My voice is like ice, but Adam’s grin doesn’t falter for a second. I narrow my eyes at him, but he only shrugs and looks at me smugly.

          “Because it’s in my rights.” He smirks confidently, and I pull the corners of my mouth down before I turn back to the front. This is not how I expected today to go. He is supposed to be livid, not talking to me like his usual charming self as if nothing even happened.

          Mr. Roth hands us our packets for our partner project and I desperately try to pay attention to his instructions, but Adam is still staring at me with that goofy grin on his face and it is very distracting. I turn to face him, so I can get this project over with, but when I see how close he had gotten to me I back up until I almost slide off the bench.